I'm just gonna dive right in here. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 15 months now. We are both head over heels in love with each other. It's both of our firm beliefs that it is possible neither or us would be alive if we hadn't met one another, as we both struggle with mental illness and struggled with self harm as well prior to meeting each other. Thus, we get each other, and things have seemed brighter and easier and happier than ever before. However, recently, we have both been going through some change, personality wise as well as where our careers and futures in general are concerned. I understand that change is a part of life, however, I am terrified that these changes may lead to a difference we can't overcome. She herself has very briefly touched on the same concern and now it's eating me alive. My other fear is that if we do break up, those self harm demons may come rushing back for the both of us. Communication has always been our best tool so I plan to talk to her about my concerns next time we see each other but I need advice. Anything in particular I should say or do? How do I stop constantly crying over this possibility?
... Or maybe you can ... Of maybe it won't. You can be there to help each other By thinking about the present, and working on your own goals. Makes it easier when you focus on your own goals and balance it with relationships.
What was it she said to you? If you can share it? That made you start worrying. Nobody knows what the future holds but I don't think you should panic just yet that everything will fall apart.
It's possible that future changes could bring challenges to the relationship - but, as others are saying, it's possible too that you'll overcome them and be a stronger couple for it. One thing that stands out from your post is that the two of you have been relying on each other for personal support (such as with self-harming) as well as building a personal bond (your relationship). It's probably more customary to rely on different people for these two things, since - as you're discovering - the prospect of a relationship ending means more than just the relationship ending, it means the loss of a support system as well. This can put a lot of strain on a relationship, and make it easier to approach challenges, because so much is at stake. If you see future obstacles that you'll have to confront as a couple, maybe it's time to start building up a support network for each of you, so that you can focus on your relationship when you're together. You could establish friends or family to talk to, or perhaps each of you could start counseling, maybe through a local LGBT center, or otherwise.
