So, at the beginning of my current relationship, I made it known to my now-partner that I feel I'm polyamorous. She said she probably couldn't live that way. I agreed to a monogamous relationship. Since then, we've occasionally talked in an off-hand way about it. She's expressed that she might be interested if we found the right partner. At first she sounded unsure about whether she could handle it, but lately she's been sounding more open. But I don't want to read too far into it. I know some people have "the list" of celebrity crushes, for example, that they'd be "allowed" to cheat with, and I'm wondering if this is the same kind of joking thing. I definitely don't want to be pushy since we've already set the terms of our relationship, but... things change. People change. I wonder if our situation could ever change. It's recently become more relevant since I've developed a serious crush on a couple she's friends with. Again, I don't want to be pushy. And, well, they're our friends, and I don't want to make things awkward. But this is something that feels really important to me. The opportunity for a beautiful relationship with some amazing people isn't something I want to let pass by without even a glance. Is there any way I can bring it up to her without making her too uncomfortable? What would I even say? Should I even say anything?
How you bring it up would depend on the nature of the poly relationship that you are looking for. Polyamory is not just one thing. To me, her expressing it this way makes me think that she thinks all polyamory is threesomes or a group relationship with everyone involved with all partners. Poly does not have to be that way. Probably the safest option would be to wait until she says something again which seems to imply that she might be open and then ask "what exactly do you mean by that". Then take it from there and try to see what she might be open to. At least you were open in the beginning so that your being interested should not shock her.
