Hey, I'm sixteen year old....girl? Boy? That's the issue, I don't know. Ever since I could remember, I was girly. As a little kid I would wear pink, play with dolls, wear dresses, etc, etc. I've always been more into guy stuff though, or what society considers, guy stuff. I've bern watching horror movies since I could talk and lived every bit of them, I always preferred guy friends over girls, and I really enjoyed hanging out with my brothers, father, male cousins. To them this had to be because I was a girl and liked to be coddled, but I was always jealous of boys. They got so much more freedom, thet got to play rough sports, they weren't insulted when they got all dirty, or played with bugs, and I wanted that. Growing up, I was an average tween and teen. I liked boys, pop music, dresses, all that junk, but I always liked acting like a boy and did a lot of things only guys should do. I soon realized I was attracted females, as well as males. I've had these feelings sibce I was about five ir six, but repressed them in order to be "normal." Now, for the past years, pribably my late fourteen, early fifteen, things are different. I've always thought being a guy, the parts, the voice, everything. Yet, I would think about getting bigger breasts, being skinny, wearing shorts, so I got very confused. I often did think about my life as a guy and I do remember feeling happier. Now, its different. For the past few months, my feelings have been growing more and more intensely. A few days ago I even cried because I felt so miserable having to suffer with this female body. I want to buy a binder to get rid of this awful breasts, I want a deep voice, I want to go into the boys' bathroom. I'm a tomboy that sometimes wears dresses, floral print, makeup, small stuff, but I feel disgusting in skirts and dresses now and the floral print boots just confuse me, I still like my makeup though. The thing is, when I think about me if I were a boy, I feel so natural and happy. I tried something and said out loud "I'm a girl," and I felt numb, my facial expression did not change whatsoever; then I said "I'm a boy," and I smiled and laughed with glee, I'm smiling now just writing it! I tried this a few more times and got the same results. I feel so uneasy in this body, and envy my brothers for being the ones born male and they take advantage of it. When i go to my work with my father, I like to use the boys' restroom, it feels so nornal. Also, I know transgenders usually realize that they ate trandgender at a young age, like 6 or 9, so that's a big reason why I don't think I am. I feel so comfortable acting like a guy, wearing boxers, the thought of cutting my hair short, yet, is sixteen too old to realize or even question, their gender identity. Also, I know my family won't accept this. At all. I asked my mother if she woulf accept as a transgender and she said I'm too old to be one, that I had to have had been 6 or 7 to decided if I was a male or a female. I also told one of my younger brothers and he told me to get out of his room because he wanted to foget what I just told him....I've told three of my friends how I've been feeling and they all accepted me, they're more accepting then my parents will ever me. I feel more comfortable as a boy, personally I think I'd be a feminine boy and either gay or bisexual. But overall, I feel like I'd be happier as a male. I want to wear boxers and have a little muscle. I want to use the boys' restroom. I want a penis! Heh..but at the same time, I'm afraid that it might be wrong or the feelings in feeling will just pass and that just confuses me so much....Am I transgender?...Please help...:help:
Most transgenders (myself included) have the same fear you do; What if i'm wrong? And from the looks of it, especially with wanting the actual sex organ (penis, balls) i would venture to put you in the trans category. And that doesn't mean you HAVE to get a GRS to be trans, there's a thing called being non-op. I hope this helps. -Charlie
It sounds like it's very possible that you could be trasngender, perhaps even a transman. Also, you're definitely not too old to be finally figuring this out. Growing up I had no idea what a transgender person was. I didn't think it was possible to be a man in a woman's body, so I too didn't express it at a young age. I told myself that I was a girl, because that's what society told me. I would fight with myself saying whatever I was feeling was just a phase and I needed to get over the fact that I wouldn't be male. Well, when I was 19 I found out the term transgender and I had never been so happy to know that I could finally be the man of my dreams. Every trans* person is different and they find out who they are at different ages. If you're still not sure, try experimenting. Go out into society as a man and see how it feels to you.
Hey, Zaylia, mate. First off, just wanted to say I can relate to your experiences quite a bit- almost eery reading it because I could've written the exact same thing in regards to my gender. As others have said, it's a high possibility you're a transman. So, the thing is- what you did or wore as a kid is not an absolute indicator of your gender. Think of it this way. We have cismen who describe wearing pink and playing with their sisters' Barbies who comfortably identify as men- no one challenges their gender. On the other side of the pond, we have ciswomen who wore boy clothes and played sports and who comfortably identify as women- doesn't delegitimize their gender. I was rather feminine growing up myself. Wore dresses, had stuffed animals and a tea set. Wrote picture books and would willingly sit in front of a Disney Princess movie (Didn't care for the princesses, I tended to watch because I was fond of the animal sidekicks but this is not the time and place for that.) I, however, now identify as male. If you think of it this way, clothes don't have a gender. Neither do toys. Society tends to assign gender to these things and prescribes them based on gender roles- what matters more is how you identify and see yourself. If you identify as male, you can be a feminine male. Vice versa. Now as far as realizing you're transgender. You're right, many transgender people do realize their true gender from a young age. But there are many people who don't have it sorted out until well after- anywhere from puberty to middle age or beyond. It doesn't matter so much as when you come to this conclusion but what you want now and for the future. If you feel you're a man and would like to physically transition, you need not have known this from age four in order to truly be transgender. Sixteen is not "too late". Think of this way. If you'd known this from age five, you would have been accused of jumping to conclusions "too early". So no, knowing it now does not mean you're not transgender. So at this point, might be a good idea to begin experimenting with your gender presentation. If you're unable to buy a binder, I would recommend looking into a compression sports bra. I myself don't have a binder yet, having just started socially transitioning and coming to terms with my gender myself, so I can understand the frustration completely. As far as family goes, I wish there was more advice I could give in regards to them. But I will say one thing. If they refuse to accept you in the end, it's their loss for not getting to know the real you. This is your journey and you should never feel as if you need to adopt a role in order to appease them. I hope they'll come around eventually. And if not, you're free to find people who will accept you for you, as your friends seem to. I wish you the best in sorting this out and if you have any questions, I'm always willing to help. Cheers, Byron (Memphis)
Just because you didn't realize until you were 16 doesn't invalidate your feelings! We grow up in a society where believing you are in the wrong body is considered wrong, so we were brought up to suppress and deny these feelings. The thing is, when you're in denial, you don't realize it. Perhaps you felt like this all your life but you didn't realize/accept it until you were older. I wish I could help more but this is something you've got to figure out, I would recommend seeing a therapist as they are trained in these things (although you should go to one who specializes in GIDs, if you can't they are very well trained in psychology and helping people through dysphoria in general) and they will help you make the best decision. Good luck!!
The thing about trans people always knowing they're trans at a young age is crap. Yes, it does happen sometimes, but not all the time. I didn't even know what trans was until I was 26 or so because my friend came out to me. And I didn't start to question until a year ago, when I was 19. And even then, I didn't realise I was FTM until a few months ago. So just because you're only starting to question now doesn't mean that you're not really trans. You can figure it out at any age. And if you need someone to talk to ever, you can message me and I'll try to help.
Hey there, You said. "I've had these feelings sibce I was about five ir six, but repressed them in order to be "normal." Then you said: "Also, I know transgenders usually realize that they ate trandgender at a young age, like 6 or 9, so that's a big reason why I don't think I am. I feel so comfortable acting like a guy, wearing boxers, the thought of cutting my hair short, yet, is sixteen too old to realize or even question, their gender identity." To be honest, I do not feel that sixteen is too old to question your gender identity. Keep in mind that being trans*, is an umbrella term. I assume you've heard of the Kinsey Scale? Dr. Kinsey taught that much as there is homosexual, and heterosexual -- there is also everything in between those two spectrums. Gender is also a spectrum, much like sexuality. Many of us realize that we don't fit into the gender binary, but it's a matter that's completely up to you as to determine where you are on that spectrum. Some people are fine being men in their daily lives, as long as they have a certain amount of time to dress up and honor that beautiful woman that stays hiding within them. My own Mom for instance is fine with being a woman, but she will take time out to do traditionally masculine activities such as mowing the lawn, etc. This is all a very individual thing and it's up to you, to decide what best will reduce your anxieties and get you to feeling more comfortable within your own skin. There are people who only go on hormones but don't complete SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery), and then there are others who go all the way and feel the need to have the surgery as well. My therapist was telling me that it's okay if I don't feel I need to go all the way, and my advice would be the same to you. But just try to relax, and don't be in a rush to figure it out. You're still young and have plenty of time to do that, everything will become clear with time I promise. It certainly has for me.
