Please help me

Iam really depressed.I write here almost the same thing.I know i know.I wrote over 200 topics in different Websites.I was in reddit,different gay Websites and made tests.Im really sure that iam attracted to girls but one day all changed.I cant remember that i had any sexual fantasy about the same sex but i test myself over and over.One side said like specialists or People in this website that OCD.Sometimes people said you discover your sexuality.I need an paper where i can see the right answer.I swear to God i tryed to masturbate to gay porn to get sny sexual stimulance its not works.My view to man changed.I get this warm feeling and iam afraid this is attraction.I see naked man in my dreams and i had an sexual Dream with my brother and an ugly guy.I woke up and i was aroused.Before this happened i had only sexual dreams with girls.It was awsome.Now all changed.Iam not in the reallity anymore.It feels like my real sexuality comes out.That means that i must have sexual contact with man in the future .I dont want that.I must write with guys in Gaychats.Iam afraid that i fall in love to an guy in the future.All attractions to girls in the past is an big illusion.I dont want trick out my wife in the future and iam really afraid that one day i get an attraction to boys and use them for stimulate myself.I cant breath and iam really anxious that iam maybe cover my sexuality with pills where i think oh its not the truth but the truth is that i think that is not the truth but my brain is an anti anxious stage.i dont want an homophobic i tolerate that but maybe its an excuse that iam not internalized homophobic guy.I know its the same circle over and over but one day its all bullshit and another day its real.Iam pretty sure that i cant marry an wife or get children.I must adopting kids because maybe iam gay or something.What will happens when iam in a country where nobody know me.Maybe i go to gay bars and Search for guys.All in my life is an big lie.I wished that i knew that iam gay/bi with young ages.