Have you ever met somebody who will defend themselves fiercely if somebody disagrees with them or gives a slight criticism, yet if you offer them praise or any kind of compliment they don't seem to give any response or show any gratitude? Why do you suppose some people are like this? I'm just curious.
- Likes to go against what has been said for the sake of it - Wants to be annoying - Generally inconsistent - Mental/hormonal fluctuations - Doesn't like overt criticism or praise - Has been taught to disregard compliments - Doesn't know how to respond to praise - Agrees with you on the praise so doesn't say anything, because they only speak if it's to argue against
I personally would never know how to respond to compliments. I'd always make me super uncomfortable. I felt like if I agreed with the compliment, it would make me seem like I was full of myself. I've gotten much better about it, but that might be one reason. Insecurity could cause people to be overly defensive as well as unable to take a compliment.
The best way to handle a compliment is to just say, "Thank you." That's what I always do, regardless of what I think about myself and what I think about what I'm being complimented on. If someone has something nice to say about me, that's pretty neat. People can be pretty dismissive and uncaring. That's why it's such a rare thing to get a compliment at all. I try to accept the compliment positively.
Some people are just creeped out by compliments. They think the person giving them the compliment has an ulterior motive behind it. Personally, I have never really gotten a compliment, but if I did, I would definitely be double and triple checking them.
To me, it seems people are just giving you a compliment to kiss your ass because they want something in return, and don't mean the compliment. And ass kissers are people that I just flat out can't stand.
In all honesty, I am somewhat like this just not to the degree that you mentioned in your initial post. I believe my situation stems from growing up in a dysfunctional family that did not give me any kind of recognition whenever I would receive some kind of accolade for achievements that I made during my scholastic years. In fact, this behavior continued throughout my adulthood until I decided to take those negative comments and used them as motivation in order to gain a positive. With that being said...I've been told by many close people within my life whom have paid me numerous compliments and I did not know how to embrace them gracefully or I would begin to feel awkward or better yet..undeserving of receiving them. However, I am working on this and it is getting better I must say.
If someone feels awkward or uncomfortable receiving a compliment and doesn't know how to respond, then that's fine. Personally I like to let somebody know that I appreciate something about them. It only bothers me when people are so damn negative. They'll go on and on about a situation they aren't happy with or a person who has pissed them off, and they will dwell for ages on a negative reaction they've received, but try to give them a little positivity and a little warmth, and it bounces right off of them. Maybe its just me thinking there's enough negativity going around and just wanting to lighten things up. I've seen it in online behavior as well, where I agree with someone's points or show a bit of understanding towards them even if I don't agree with them, and they don't give me any feedback, but they will argue relentlessly with people who are putting down their opinions and even being rude to them.
