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Parental dependence and feeling trapped at as a young teen adult

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Almost Canadian, Nov 8, 2017.

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  1. Almost Canadian

    Almost Canadian
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    Can anyone relate to this?

    I'm 19 like I've said before. I still live with my parents because I simply haven't reached the level of independence where I'd have my own place. Only recently have I gotten my license, and I don't even have a car. But I don't really know my way around in a car anyways. So at my age, I don't quite have as much independence as allot of young adults do yet. Given all this, I really want to get a boyfriend or something similar to that. I'm really lonely. I've been told by some of my online friends that I could easily get into a relationship with another guy do to my looks being in line with what is considered attractive among allot of the gay community. Since we live in a society where you're basically assumed straight unless you say so, all I have to do is come out of the closet right? There's a couple problems though. While I sort of "came out" to my parents recently, they kinda passed it off as a joke. And now that I think of it, I wouldn't be able to maintain a relationship for a day if I were to start one. My parents certainly wouldn't be fine with me dating another man, so there's that. Plus I don't even have a car and my parents work both jobs, and they sure wouldn't let me use theirs. I wish I owned my own place, had my own car, and knew my way around the city.
    So here I have two options: 1. I can wait, at the least, a few more years and obtain all these things so I have better control over my life. 2. I wing it and do everything in my power to get a boyfriend now.
    I'm getting really lonely because I'm also struggling to make friends in college as well. Everyone already has their groups of friends they hang with, and I here I am; no friends since high school ended. And now I'm having these strong romantic feelings towards other men; I just feel so isolated.

    Now I've got a headache and I think I'm going to cry.
    Thanks for reading my post if you did.
     
    #1 Almost Canadian, Nov 8, 2017
  2. SomecallhimTim

    SomecallhimTim
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    It's really up to you. I can't really relate because I just turned 18 and while I do still live with my mom I'm pretty independent, but I think it depends on what your priorities are. Is there an LGBT club or support group at your school? Those are usually good places to meet people, both potential boyfriends and friends. Personally I think you should start with finding friends first so that you have people who accept you as well as support you. It is definitely possible to keep a relationship secret from your parents as long as it's ok with your partner, but it would be hard to do while you're living at home.
     
    #2 SomecallhimTim, Nov 8, 2017
  3. shadowalex

    shadowalex
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    As long as you feel safe I think you should just live your life the way you want to, so if you wanna meet someone then go for it. Im only a few years into my 20s but I certainly feel like nothing good came of me waiting till I felt like I had my life sorted out more. Because in my experience theres never gonna that "perfect time". But thats really just my opinion, do what feels right to you.
     
    #3 shadowalex, Nov 8, 2017
  4. Almost Canadian

    Almost Canadian
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    I mean I think it's more logical to wait just a few more years until I'm independent enough; living on my own, having my own car ect...
    I'd have the liberty of being able to set up dates and such without there being any obstacles.
    And yeah, I know there's some sort of LGBT club at my college.
    Unfortunately I have one class every week, but I guess I could ask to go to my college early.
     
    #4 Almost Canadian, Nov 8, 2017
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