Pain Threshold?

Well, everyone always feels hard done by, then one learns how someone else has been through hell compared to your own cushy life. I've had a relatively decent life, in some ways I'm really lucky, in other ways, not so much. So here goes:

1) I can think of only one painful experience that signifigantly changed my life. I've just recently reached the end of a 4 month long crush on a guy I met just this year. We were good friends from the start, but I was constantly getting mixed signals from him (I knew he was bisexual like myself). Those months were both amazing, and terrible. I was in love for the first time, real love, not just a physical attraction. I love and respect him a great deal, but it was so bumpy. At times I was certain he felt the same for me, but then he'd do something that would suggest otherwise. I ended up writing him a letter telling him that I'd fallen in love with him, and that I merely wanted to know if he felt the same about me. He didn't. He considers me a really great friend, but doesn't have romantic feelings for me. He was wonderfully gentle about letting me down, and actually finding out wasn't the hard part; at heart, I had already known the answer. I just needed to know for sure. It's been much harder forcing myself to accept that I simply have to move on, that there's nothing I can do to change his feelings.

To understand why this has been (and still will be for a little while yet) so hard, you have to understand what I was like before I met him. For most of my life, I've been very introverted, only keeping a few friends at a time, and even those friends weren't really close to me. I'd spend a lot of time alone at home on the computer, researching my own interests, wasting a crapload of time on video games, and though I didn't feel any loneliness on the surface, deep down I felt terribly alone. When the feelings surfaced, I'd feel a desperate desire for a friend who could be close to me, who could understand me and enjoy doing the things I did; most of my friends shared some surface interests, but I knew no one who was really like me. And though I felt lonely, I never really made an effort to meet people and find someone who was like me.

I did that for years, since elementary school and up until my final year of high school. In my first class on the first day, I noticed a guy who I'd seen around before, but never really talked to, since he was a bit of a loner. This time for some strange reason, I felt compelled to talk to him. Something about him just made me really curious, so when I overheard him mention something I knew about, I struck up a conversation. This was unusual for me, since throughout high school, I'd only really made a serious effort to connect with a new friend once (I'd always just stuck with my two friends from elementary school).

It turns out we shared a lot in common, we had a similar sense of humor and the same interest in learning. I quickly developed feelings for him, and soon learned that he too was bisexual. I was so excited at the possibility of a real relationship; I have had a couple of crushes before, and one I actually asked out, but they all fizzled since I quickly realized that the feelings were just lust and loneliness, not a real love for the person. So a few months past of growing mixed signals, and then here I am today.

It's been wonderful and painful; for the first time in my life, I've felt real love. I've never felt it before. Crushing, sure, but not a complex love for a person. However, the disappointment when I began to suspect (then confirmed) that he didn't feel the same has been really hard. It's like I've had a glimpse at what it would be like to be happy, then had it swept away before I was able to experience it completely.

2)1 was really the first terribly painful event. My parents divorced when I was young, so I've long accepted that. My grandparents died when I was young, and though I wish I'd known them better, I have to say that wasn't traumatizing. My relationship with my mom has been strained, we fight a lot. But she's taken care of me and been good to me most of the time, so I'm better of than many. My dad's great. He's the kind of Dad that radiates a calm, confidently masculine presence. He rarely loses his temper, and when he does, he's never threatened or abused me.

3)This has been really painful, but I view it as a good pain. It's changed me, shattered the prison of loneliness that was of my own design (uh oh, getting eloquent xD). I'm going to start being more proactive; talking to people more, meeting new people as often as I can. I've learned that there could be people like me all around, I just need to actually go out and find them.

4)Well, it depends on what kind of physical pain. I would say emotional pain is much worse than your average physical pain (i.e a bad flu or broken arm or something), in the sense that it's insidious, and there's not much you can do about it. Only time can heal it. However to be realistic, I'm sure some crazy medical disorders that cause extreme pain would be worse. Imagine having excruciating pain all of the time, or migraines regularly. Emotional pain can be devastating, but one usually slowly heals from it, and there are ways to escape it.

 

1) Gender dysphoria, depression. Oh, and seriously burning my hand. (jk, it hurt, but apart from a scar, I don't think it actually changed me)
2) Gender dysphoria, mostly because of it being present my entire life.
3) I have a high pain threshold, and I'm able to move on from physical pain easily. As for emotional pain, I can often move on, but as I mentioned some of it permanently changing me, clearly not all of it is that easy to move on from. I try, though.
4) Emotional. Physical pain tends to last much less time, and is easier to bare, at least for me anyway.

 

I've been lucky enough to have avoided any memorably major physical pain. I've had my fair share of cuts, bruises, and injuries, sure, but none that were as memorable as the emotional pain I've gone through.

1.) Painful experience(s) you've gone through that have changed who you are on some level.

One very painful experience for me was the aftermath of when I asked a guy out for the first time. I had been crushing on this guy for over a year at that point, and had been friends with him for a year. My feelings had gotten to the point where I think I could honestly say I loved him. And when he said no, it put me in a REALLY bad spot for about a week. That was one of the few times in my life when I think I felt honest-to-goodness depression (trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, etc.)

But the one the probably takes the cake for changing me would be the first semester of my junior year of college. In short, I caught up on at least five, if not ten years of growing up that I had fallen behind on, and probably skipped ahead a few years judging by home many times people have told me, "Most people aren't even thinking about these kinds of things at your age." And I had to do it all in the span of a couple of months. This resulted in panic attacks, massive amounts of anxiety, the return of my suicidal ideations, and me just being generally really stressed out all the time. It was a really bad time, especially because the semester and the summer preceding it were easily the best time of my life so far.

2.) Which of those experiences were most painful to you?

Easily my junior year of college.

3.) What is your percieved threshold for pain? Are you able to brush off painful experiences with relative ease, or have these experiences permanently traumatized you?

The let down of asking that guy out didn't stay with me for any longer than a couple of weeks, and I was able to take it as a learning experience and move on. But that accelerated growing up left emotional scars I still deal with over a year after that period of my life ended, and it took me about eight months to reach a point where I felt like I had "recovered", nevermind returned to my previous vitality (I'm still not there yet). I don't know if I'd call the damage permanent, since a year after-the-fact is still pretty early to call something permanent if we assume that I'll live for another 58, and it did end up being a learning experience as well. But whereas I'm really glad to have gone through the experience that lead to that post-break-up letdown and I'm really grateful for all the lessons it taught me, I'm still bitter about that semester, in spite of all that it taught me.

4.) Do you believe physical or emotional pain to be more difficult?

Emotional pain. Maybe if I'd experienced some truly agonizing physical pain, I'd feel differently, but I had a middle-class upbringing in a safe town in a first-world country, so my life has been free of excruciatingly physically painful experiences.

 

1.) Painful experience(s) you've gone through that have changed who you are on some level.

answer - i think my moms passing....because i haven't been the same jumpy happy person i was , i was spunky when i was a kid. cute and positive and now im some negative bitch with a sharp attitude...but i don't care really ----> another problem


my sister abusing my mother during the time i was 9-11 years old. i saw my mother get punched , kicked , pushed....into walls. left on the side of a highway....i saw my mom get her hair pulled. i've seen my mom jump onto the car while it was pulling out since my dad was taking me and my sister away and i was 3 years old then. my sister would hit me and stuff if i got int the way , i remember the blood on my moms face and ran to her side...i remember getting my head slammed into the closet door because i kept screaming for my sister to stop , i remember how devastated my mom was when my sister broke her great grandmothers radio and her dolls. i remember pushing the dresser drawer in front of the door so my sister couldn't get in

it changed me because its made me more afraid than ever....i have high anxiety and don't fit well with social groups...i hate driving , i always lock the passenger door because my mother would sometimes jump out of the car.

my ex leaving me. it seem not a big deal but believe me , it killed me when i relized she had left , i cried and cried. my heart dropped and it felt like everything that i had back together was now gone.

it changed me because now im back in losing faith in everything and everyone. she changed me inside because she got me back to being that spunky little kid that i was. she got me being back to the true person i was. it took so long to find the person and now that she left , i have no clue where i am now.
she gave me so much confidence. i actually studied for once and she didn't have to ask. i got better grades because she made me believe things were possible.

2.) Which of those experiences were most painful to you?

answer - when scarlett (my ex) left because ...its all balled into one , she made me forget the abuse and move on. she made me believe in myself again. she made me stop questioning my sexuality and go with the flow when nobody could make me. she made believe in love. she made me want to take risks. she made me want to try....she made me...the person the i am back to being...and she made me remember who i am again. she was everything to me....and now that she left , its like learning to walk , talk , eat , sleep again. its painful , a process and a learning experience all into one. it seems stupid about my ex but i mean...i dont knwo. all i could think of at the moment

3.) What is your perceived threshold for pain? Are you able to brush off painful experiences with relative ease, or have these experiences permanently traumatized you?

answer - the abuse in my childhood....definitely traumatized me.

4.) Do you believe physical or emotional pain to be more difficult?

answer - it depends on the severity of the emotional pain. if its bad , it'll turn into physical pain....but overall , my emotional tends to hurt more

 

1.) Painful experience(s) you've gone through that have changed who you are on some level.

When I was fifteen years old, I was admiring a pretty dress and a pair of matching shoes in one of the windows of a small shop in my town that I sometimes stopped at on the way home. I never went in, I'd just look at things and imagine, occasionally attempting to draw myself in them later. That day, when I was done looking I turned for a moment, thinking I'd seen something. After a few moments I just assumed my eyes had been playing tricks on me and so I walked toward my home, head turned toward the sky and watching the birds. As I walked past one of the small streets I was grabbed and pulled out of the main street and a cloth was stuffed in my mouth when I tried to scream. I was thrown behind some trees, and some of the people from my school were waiting there with baseball bats. One of them shouted "God says F**k You, fag." and they began to hit me with bats. I woke up in the hospital, at the time though, I wasn't sure I'd wake up at all.

My Grandmother. She was always so kind, and whatever else anyone thought she always wanted to visit and see how I was doing. I always hid my other side from her, and my feminine clothes, makeup, lotions, and plushies whenever she came by. Still, she was a smart woman and she gave me a look once or twice like she knew something was up. She always wanted to have me visit, and for a while I did, back when I was 19 or so. But eventually I had another breakdown, I became more distant, shut myself in. Not because there was anything wrong with her or anyone else, but because of myself. I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt my body in the shower, I'd be forced put on my male persona and dress male, then go out into the world feeling sad and miserable because I couldn't be myself. And it made me cry, every night. I hated myself, my body, I was ashamed. I couldn't bear to be seen. I shut myself in and drove everyone around me away because I couldn't bear it. My grandmother and I didn't start talking again until after my 26th birthday. We saw each other a few times, and then she was gone. Like a candle blown out suddenly. It was like a knife through my heart.

2.) Which of those experiences were most painful to you?

The loss of my grandmother. At the time of the bats, I would have welcomed death, so much was out of my control, my parents shunned me and eventually threw me out, my peers hated me. With my grandmother, I could have said something, visited, explained. The thought that when she passed she might not have known how much I cared about her, that she might have thought I didn't love her, it's the worst feeling I've ever experienced. She is why I came out at last, and I feel I owe it to her to make sure I never make that mistake again.


3.) What is your percieved threshold for pain? Are you able to brush off painful experiences with relative ease, or have these experiences permanently traumatized you?

My life is pain, it has always been. I do not think I will ever be completely adjusted to society as a result of the things I've had to live through. Yet, in this past year alone I've found more peace than I ever thought I would, so I suppose as long as I hold out hope anything is possible.

4.) Do you believe physical or emotional pain to be more difficult?

Physical pain is intense at times, but fleeting. It comes, but it goes as well. Emotional pain, soul wrenching regret over things you wish to the stars you could change, scars from a life of forced isolation lacking in any form of affection or even tolerance, and wounds from those who you've tried to trust turning on you for their own amusement. Those are real pain, those are the pain that sear themselves into the core of your being and haunt you every day for the rest of your life. I may, possibly, someday recover. Yet, I will never, ever forget those feelings and they will continue to define me for years to come.

 

1) Painful experiences?
Verbal bullying, self-hatred, depression, etc. As you guys know, being different can be pretty painful.

2) Which was the worst?
The self-hatred. You can escape from bullies, but you can't escape from yourself.

3) Pain threshold?
I can be happy, but only when distracted. As soon as I'm alone, I can't stand anything about my life. I go to a secluded place, curl up in a ball, and scream/cry.

4) Physical or emotional?
Emotional pain is worse, definitely, and physical pain can be an escape route. Agony is better than misery.

I'm a lot different than I was several years ago, and I've gotten better... partly due to the LGBT community and the fact that they are so accepting of others. Thanks, guys.

 

1.) This is hard to answer. I am quite fortunate in that I have not endured anything too severe (or at least what I consider to be severe). However, it is painful for me to think about the reality or potential of a certain topic and what it can do to people, but I will not name it here. After spending years of studying it and relating it to other subjects, I realize the harm that can be done, and I believe that has truly made me the person I am today.

2.) I have no answer for this one.

3.) I believe I am capable of enduring immense amounts of emotional pain. I have never given myself too much trouble over emotional problems. With that said, no event has really "traumatized" me, but they weren't meaningless either. I analyze almost all of my problems, attempt to develop solutions, and cast the problems aside. I have never cried over a personal issue and don't intend on letting that happen. One aspect about me that I particularly cherish is when I am stressed over a certain issue, I will always find a way to reduce the stress or eliminate it. I do this out of internal motivation; my future goals require that I am at my best in school, and my ability to focus and do well is hindered when I am stressed, so I do whatever I can to prevent it.

As for physical pain, I am really not sure what my threshold is. I'm very wary and careful, so I have never had a severe accident or bodily injury. I have never had any serious health risks either, only somewhat minor ones.

4.) For me, physical pain/discomfort is worse than emotional pain/discomfort. I have had my fair share of crappy emotional states, and they certainly are not fun. However, I technically have control over it somewhat. In a way, I am letting myself worry about it by paying attention to the problems. There are ways to distract myself or convince myself that it is not a big deal. While it may not completely eliminate the problem, is tends to reduce the stress.

"Control" is the key word there, and it's what distinguishes emotional pain from physical pain for me. I am essentially in control of my life; I am responsible for my decisions, and sometimes the consequences may hurt me emotionally, but with further control, I can forget about those problems in some way. There have only been a few times when I have been in serious physical discomfort, but one thing was consistent for all of those situations: I had no control over the discomfort. Sometimes, a mood boost can help reduce emotional pain, and that can come by simply talking to somebody. When I am slowly feeling my body shut down as all of my bodily senses dwindle away and my brain screams for the oxygen needed, all in the grueling, rather slow process of reaching the point of fainting due to lack of bodily nutrients, that is the worst pain I've had. And the worst part is that I have no control over the situation; I had neglected my body for too long, and I had to pay the consequences. Fainting is normally a rather quick process, but the fact that this happened so slowly made it horrible. And this isn't event the worst it gets; I couldn't imagine how people in worse situations feel.

 

Normally I wouldn't answer such a personal post, but I'm in a sharing mood tonight, so lucky you

1.) Painful experience(s) you've gone through that have changed who you are on some level.

-My mom and brother are both bipolar. My brother can be rather aggressive and physical. I have PTSD from a few of these incidents. I also spent a lot of my childhood living with my grandparents.
-I had to have surgery due to torn cartilage in both knees. I was a competitive dancer and had to quit at age 14 due to my injuries.
-My first boyfriend, who I thought I loved, moved away after we had only dated for 6 months.
-My grandpa died suddenly my first week of college. He was my hero and it still hurts that I didn't get to say goodbye.
-I have several medical problems that have taken a toll on me emotionally and physically.
-Falling in love with my roommate and dating for 8 months before it ended badly. Basically, she got back together with her ex boyfriend and moved out. She claims that she never really loved me.

2.) Which of those experiences were most painful to you?

Honestly, my roommate and ex girlfriend moving out. I am just now able to be happy again and we broke up 9 months ago. I had a mental breakdown after we broke up and I wanted to quit school. I was really sick with one of my chronic diseases at the time and I already wanted to just die so the pain would end. She was my first serious relationship and I loved her. I was suicidal for months. However, now I doing better and I am thankful that I am still alive

3.) What is your percieved threshold for pain? Are you able to brush off painful experiences with relative ease, or have these experiences permanently traumatized you?

I think all of these experiences permanently traumatized me. Although, things have gotten better. My PTSD is less severe than it was. I have fewer moments where I panic. I rarely have problems in everyday life, but I still have horrible dreams when I sleep.

4.) Do you believe physical or emotional pain to be more difficult?

I have experienced a great deal of both physical and emotional pain. For me, physical pain goes away eventually. It is temporary, even if it last for months when I struggle with some of my health issues I know it will eventually end. Emotional pain I'm not sure will ever end, although it gets better.

 

hmmm in a way this is a tough one for me...

as far as physical pain goes for me the most painful experience I've had was when i went into diabetic keto acidosis. take that down to basically mean I had way too much sugar in my blood, and it was starting to kill me. it boiled down to feeling like every nerve in my body had been simultaneously stabbed, and i went to the hospital for it and got better blah blah blah...I still feel pain in my nerves because i let myself lose control badly enough to make me that sick once. and that has been my physical pain threshold since that day.

emotional pain threshold....that ones a tougher question for me. Since i was young i let my emotions run wild and crazy at the worst and most random times so i have had lots of ups and downs with that. however right now feels like the most emotional pain ive been in...or very recently. I recently started opening up to people who have become very close to me and in order to continue on in my life the way that i feel would be best and the course i wish to take require me to move away from a lot of these people. this wouldn't be as much of a problem if i didn't start feeling like i was running away from the most amazing people i had ever met when i finally decided on this course of action. so that would be why my most recent emotional pain feels the worst.

these two answers for me will be my answrs for 1, and 2.
3 and 4 however im not sure how to answer
i don't really brush off my pain but i don't hold onto it either. for me the pain you experience needs to be remembered. not held on to but known in a sense. i know what i need to do to avoid that intense physical pain. if you don't remember your pain your making mistakes without learning from them, and mistakes are things you should always learn from.

 

I will not do all them cuz I had too many of all. But I will say physical pain I have a very high threshold and nurses insisted I was faking...didnt want drip oxycodone in hospital ICU I wanted liquid children's tylenol.
But emotional pain is in your brain, it hurts bad...you think you are over it, and something triggers it even years later. I wish I could make it go away.

 

your welcome
i hope my sister doesn't find tit , considering how nosy she is

 

It feels a lot better to share my feelings, after keeping them inside for so very long. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and thanks to others who were brave enough to share their stories. Be Well.

 

Thanks for creating this thread! I'm glad to know that other people have gone through similar things. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories! (&&&)