Overthinking

I have been figuring out my sexual orientation for about a year and a half now, ever since i moves away from home (which makes a lot of sense). After a year I finally decided to come out to my friends as “open” to anything, meaning I was open to falling in love with either a man or a woman. I needed for them to know this even if it was not a specific label yet since growing up in my family I was forced to deny and hide what I always was inside. They reacted well but we didn’t really talk about it after that. Point is now I have come to the realization that I might be a lesbian. However, I am having a hard time dealing with internalized homophobia, and getting over what other people will possibly think of me. My family the most important element of it all, since they are very much christian and I am afraid of what they’ll think of me. I hate reading comments in like lesbian proposals saying things like “ew disgusting” “that is so wrong” blah blah blah. Makes me feel like I’M wrong. Like someday I hope that’ll be me you know? And another thing is having kids. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and being able to create a human being out of two people that love each other, and I am aware there are methods out there, but idk it just makes me overthink everything. I honestly wish I had people to talk about this, cuz sometimes I just feel so lonely. And it’s so hard even thinking about possibly having a crush on that one girl at work bc what if she likes me back but I’m not enough for her?