Some days ago i've went on a vacation on my own to a nearby country and met a man there (i'm bisexual), he is 24 years old (we were speaking in the past for around 2 months), i had such a great time with him (for the first time someone was really kind with me and was interested in other aspects other than sex, as most older men care only about sex and then they leave), we were some days together, going out daily etc, when i left we said to keep talking and visit again (as it's easy for me to visit, although it's harder for him), although from the time i left i feel really depressed, i only feel well when we talk, otherwise i don't even have the mood to eat, or talk with my friends etc. I want to schedule to go again some time soon and visit regularly, but no one from my friends/family know about me and they won't like it that i like men as well and i'm afraid to do so, as they aren't in favour of lgbtq people - i live in a small citiy and most people here are disproval and racists. Not sure what to do, i was thinking of finding a lie about visiting same country over and over, without raising any suspicion.
kostas4433.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBT folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who may have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. It's difficult having someone that you really like be so far away. I hope that the two of you can stay in touch through social media, etc. Your 23 years old, why should your friends or even your family know who you are talking to? I would think that you would be able to talk to him in private and then visit occasionally just because you like the country he lives in and enjoy going there! Or have I missed something entirely? Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. .....David
I know several people who repeatedly go on vacations to the same locations because they just enjoy it there so much. I come from an island country like yourself, but mine has shit weather, so this is actually quite normal for Icelanders to go to very specific countries/cities for vacations, usually where there is less shit weather. I'm not sure why you would be worried about other people wondering why you would keep going back to the same place, it's not that odd at all in my experience. The only explanation you need to give anyone is "I really love it there," and that isn't really a lie at all is it? You make it sound as if you will be repeatedly interrogated to the point of breaking if you keep going back there. Are you possibly just being paranoid? Or are you intending to go there like 20 times a year? I suppose you could buy 1% of some produce stand and tell people you have a business start up that needs your consistent attention.
People from my country don't usually do this that's why, but i can also be a little paranoid, i usually overthink such stuff
I would say go for it, it's your life. I know that same feeling so if he has feelings for you too then it could be worth pursuing. If your family have suspicious you can just say you enjoy visiting the country he's from. Please be careful if you have to of course and protect your heart too, but as long as we ground ourselves mentally and emotionally from time to time, I would definitely say that for me at least the purpose of life is to follow our hearts and see where they lead us along the way.
The only red flag I see is that you are depressed and don’t want to eat or talk with friends when you are not talking with him, as that sounds rather codependent. Otherwise, whether you visit this place 20 times or 100 times a year, it’s no one’s business but your own.
I agree on this factor. It's of course wonderful when you have someone special, but remember you are your own person and need to be happy with or without the person. Be careful about becoming dependent on this guy as it could not only hurt yourself, but hurt a potential relationship with him.
