For the past few months I came out to closer friends with being a transguy. I'm getting more and more sure I want to fully transition. I'm functioning in some places as a woman and in others as a man. I'm getting more tired with being called a woman. And it'll be more and more tiring to keep up who knows and who don't. I can't use facebook, as I still would like to keep family out before I get green light for HRT (this may take months). How to tell it to others? Or should I just forget explaining and just use my prefered pronouns and let them deal with it by themselves?
It seems there are a few choices when it comes to letting people know something like this. * You can tell nobody. * You can tell a few choice people. * You can tell everybody. The option you're looking for - "I want to tell MOST, but not ALL, people" - is a much more difficult one. The reason being is that (as it were) you want word to travel far and wide, but manage to skip over a few choice spots. And all the methods we use to let word travel far and wide tend not to leave options open for skipping spots. Given this, if "family shouldn't know" is more import than "everybody else should know", I'd say the smart move is to just tell the people you definitely want to know, and then start using the preferred pronoun. You may get some questions via Facebook, however, which family members might see. Lex
Hey. Thanks for input. Most of the people that should know, already know it. But day by day I interact also with other people and can't bear to make a coming out every time. Being misgendered gets more painful and I'm having problem with speaking with female pronouns. After hearing "I need some time to adjust" after coming out and being called with female pronouns it's difficult for me to speak with ease the way I need. I know they need time to adjust, and that I'm being hasty expecting them to switch pronouns soon when they declare seeing no signals at all (ekhm). I feel conflicted and I'm hurting. Luckily, my friends are rather discreet so nothing on my wall will be posted. Many of my friends are either LGBT or supporters. I'm the black sheep in my family (arguing about the LGBT issues) so it's not rare to see LGBT related things on my wall. My closest family don't see that. There are people who know my closest family so I don't want to officially write anything. But I had no problems so far with what I posted on fb. I'm just wary. My bi coming out (to parents only) was accidental. Now I want to do it on my terms. I somehow can lie to my family and play female as they wish (been playing that for years) but outside of family I can't bear it.
