My 'out status' is that I came out and then went back in. That's not an option in the selection for profile. Had anyone else had this problem, or am I the odd one out (or in) again?
We do have only the out status selection you see in the profile, but that don't mean there isn't people here who are on your shoes. I am sorry though, that you're in this situation. Hugs.
I don't think you are the odd one out. It's not completely unheard of for people to come out and then backtrack on their decision. Although it is better to come out and be our authentic selves, there are many good reasons why people may find it difficult to come out and stay out and we need to be respectful when that is the case.
There's an article talking about how Joe Locke (our dearest Charlie Spring) had this experience. He came out at one point on Instagram, then lied and said his profile was hacked. He then came out again a few years later and his friends were understanding. It's probably somewhat common.
Im kind of like that to a degree, I was out before I moved, all of my friends, coworkers and family knew and were cool about my sexuality, but I recently moved to a more conservative town and it just feels safer to not disclose my personal life. Theres literally an older man that goes around my town with an anti lgbtq+ sign and anti abortion sign and he gets a bunch of cars honking at him in support. Not to mention the weird microagressions, transphobia, and conspiracy shit I hear from random customers at my job.
I don't think it is unusual. I'm trans and lived pretty stealth for a few years. At work, not many knew about me until recently. Some people found out and put it out there. Thankfully, everybody has been very accepting. So, I've kind of bounced back and forth with being out.
I have had a lot of trouble with coming out. It has been incredibly hard, and I am not the person I was when I first came out. I am more withdrawn and detached. I have been dealing with bitterness, depression, anger because of my LGBT problems. I thought I could handle it but now I talk to a counselor once a week, and would go into therapy if I could afford it. Sorry to say it, but being out and gay is so hard I sometimes think I should live without sex and love but that doesn't seem right either. At this point in my life, I really don't know what to do or think.
LlouW.....I am so sorry for the troubles that you have had. I know that those are just words, but they are sincerely meant. Do you feel comfortable sharing a little more about what has happened that has made things so difficult for you? I'm really not prying...I just want to understand what has happened to you so that we (all of us here on Empty Closets) would have an easier time offering help and support to you. You are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care. We want to do what ever we can to help, encourage and lift you up out of the dark place that you are in right now. When one part of our family hurts, we all hurt and that is not just a cute saying! Please get back to us and let us help. .....David
I find other lesbian women are incredibly cold and nasty. That was completely unexpected to me. I am very friendly and romantic, so I am just the opposite. I can't understand why I am different from every other lesbian I know. What am I supposed to do? The LGBT scene is a complete wasteland to me. I have to repress my feelings so much that I honestly don't know whether I want to love anyone again.
LlouW.....Thanks for your response! I'm wondering where you have been meeting other women? Sometimes the meeting place can have an affect on how people act...for instance a bar may not always be the best place to meet people. If there are any LGBTQ Support organizations in your area, they could help you find places and/or groups where you could meet others in a different setting that might be more open and accepting...more friendly. That's just a thought. Another idea, If you were to post what you have said here in the "Sexual Orientation" and the "Coming Out Later in Life" forums here on Empty Closets, you may get some good suggestions from the folks there. It's sure worth a try! I know it's hard as we get older (I'm 73) to make new friends and when we are LGBTQ, it's even more difficult...but it can be done...so hang in there, we are all rooting for you! .....David
Thanks. Sometimes I feel so hopeless. And my sadness is turning into bitterness and anger. I don't know if that's a normal reaction or not. Is it?
LlouW.....Whether becoming bitter is normal or not, working to avoid it is a good idea. As I said above...reach out and make some contacts in places where you can find people who you can have fun with, get to know, etc. Take that step...you will be glad that you did! .....David
I know what you mean about the LGBT scene. I never fit in with it, but I did meet some likeminded people who were just at the fringes and not really a part of it. You might have more luck with women who are in the 'questioning' phase, but I don't know how you'd go about looking for one as they'll mostly be keeping it to themselves.
