I’m thinking of deleting my profile on the online sites that I have been a member, and maybe starting over. The primary reason is that I find myself repeatedly updating my profile content as I grow and change my understanding of myself. I’m a big fan of at least trying to be consistent in describing myself, to give the reader an accurate idea of who I am. But lately it seems I’m changing my profile way too much — a word here, a phrase there. I notice lots of guys have little or no information in their profiles. I did meet a guy recently who only had his age. I have heard that many of these members without information are just bots. Turns out he was really nice. He had a lot of information about me from my profile. I eventually learned about him through our chats. We chatted for about 2 months before we met. Just interested in your experience. Do you even use the sites at all? (Remember to keep your replies general — don’t mention any specific sites!)
I do not use any chat, dating or social media sites. I found them all to be toxic. I would rather be alone than contact any of the people that I have found through any site.
@QuietPeace, I would tend to agree with you in principle, however I have in fact become acquainted with several guys through online chat who I consider to be friends. My location means that I will likely never meet them in person because of the great distances, however the sites do allow for us to reach across the miles and engage with one another through conversation. The two guys who I actually met in person were each very nice. One I have only known since the beginning of this year, the other I have known over 5 years.
I was very much like you during my prior times using such sites and apps where I would frequently update my profile as I learned more about myself. I think it is a good way to see where you have been and where you are going on your journey. Whether you delete profiles and start over is something for you to decide, I do not think it changes others perspectives much; and just the same, I do not think people really will remember whom you are from one profile to another. I previously found that the more honest about myself I was, the more honest I reflected myself on my profile. And with transparency, I tended to avoid engaging with people I did not want to engage with. So my advice is to be yourself, reflect whom you perceive yourself to be, and engage only with those that find commonality with your profile. I will say as these sites and apps have gotten more popular, I found a diminishing return in using them. Although the vast majority of contact with people might very well be duds, there might very well be that diamond in the rough. So you never know!
@OnTheHighway — Thank you for your reply. I just updated my profile (again) and I think I got it right, at least for where I’m at now in my life. I don’t get very much “traffic” at all, but I have met a good guy along the way, so as one older friend of mine once told me, “You never know who might be watching you.”
I have not made any changes to my profile for over a month, except to correct a grammatical error someone pointed out to me. (Which only goes to show not everyone on these sites is looking for sex!) I’ve been satisfied with what I have written about myself, and the results have been good. No meetings in person planned, but I’m getting to chat with other guys in similar situations as my own, which has been helpful.
I have found myself in a similar situation and arrived at a similar approach. I now try to offer enough info so those who actually read profiles can get a sense of my interests and priorities and maybe even a bit of my personality. I try not to take things too seriously given that the land of relative anonymity these things inhabit tends to generate all sorts of nonsense. Still, I have connected with several guys over time online that have been worth spending time with chatting and IRL.
On any type of app or forum, you might run into people who are a lot like you and who you click with. That's on the surface. The part you don't see is what might be brewing underneath. We've all got something brewing underneath. It then turns into whether their stuff that you learn about along the way is stuff you can handle or stuff that you can't handle. At the very least, you may make a friend out of it. I wouldn't count on them for relationships. Like someone already said, though, you never know.
@Tightrope — You’re totally correct. My friend definitely had something brewing underneath, which he only told me about after 8 months. Initially it was very hard for me to handle, but I somehow dragged my way through and now we have a decent friendship.
