A year ago nearly to the minute I type this, I sat at the kitchen table with my hand in my ex-wife’s and said “I need to tell you that I’m gay.” It was the most difficult moment of my life while at the same time I felt the release of pressure from decades of deceit, denial, hiding and guilt escape from my body. I truly believe the tears shed over those next few hours and throughout the coming weeks contained portions of all that negativity. Our divorce has recently finalized and even she has remarked that I’m a much more confident, decisive and happy person. Our relationship is cordial when we discuss what’s needed regarding what was our and now her house, our (grown) kids, etc. She also now says she can’t believe she didn’t see that I was gay a long time ago, so I guess I look the part. What a crazy year it has been. I had long envisioned a period of loneliness, doubt and let’s be honest, meaningless sex with dozens of men. I did have this period... but it was shorter than expected. In March, I was introduced by a friend of a friend to a strikingly handsome, funny, intelligent, confident successful man who a decade ago had gone through the same situation. We went on four casual dates, told stories, commiserated, laughed, cried. At the end of some tears on our fourth date, he leaned closer, gazed into my eyes and promised my life is about to get a lot better. The kiss that followed was life changing. It was my first with a man I had developed feelings for. Six months later, as my apartment least expired, I moved into his condo and get along amazingly with his kids, his ex, his mom, and his circle of friends. The feeling of being accepted not only for who I am, but as part of someone else, is the icing on my gay birthday cake. When we were leaving a holiday gathering with his extended family, he even told a cousin who said “see you next year,” “who knows, maybe our wedding will be before next Christmas.” Wait what??? LOL. First I’d heard of that thought, so maybe year 2 will have another story to tell. happy new year, friends.
Another great story of authenticity with an obviously happy ending. Congrats and here is hoping 2020 is even better. Here again this proves once the dust settles it is wonderful being gay!
