It hasn't been a bad day by any means, but it is just one of those days where I feel an intense need to cuddle/be held. Sigh. Hopefully one day soon I will believe I deserve that enough to come out and attempt a relationship. I don't feel sad or upset. Just tense. Anyone else feel that way at times? (Would this fit better under general support? I don't know. For some reason, I thought the older members of the board would have better insight.)
The first step is just meeting people. Before I came out I had no idea what a network of gay events, people etc existed in my area. Once I came out, I started to get hooked into it and it's been very nice, I've even gotten some cuddling! You may be able to hook into those networks without coming out (except to the people in them), if you have the intention to eventually do so. And I think meeting other gay people is a great support network to prepare you for that step. But of course it also depends on where you live; if you're in any reasonably big / medium sized city in the midwest though those groups/networks should exist. My advice: go for it. My hugest regret is waiting so long to come out.
I live 30 minutes from Bloomington, IN. Home of Kinsey and one of the gay friendliest towns in the Midwest. Unfortunately, it is enough of a small world in this area that I feel there is no way I could connect to the gay community without others finding out/getting back to where I work. Could lead to me losing my job if some of the bigger religious zealots where I work decided to go over my bosses heads on the issue. (Maybe I am imagining it to be worse than it actually is.) My bosses have a son who is gay. I know they support gay rights though my fervently religious coworkers don't know this. Could cost my bosses their jobs if it got out. (We work for a church that believes homosexuality to be sinful.) For example, I went to the LGBTQ friendly coffee shop recently and it turned out the owner had worked for many years with the husband of the former cook where I work. She built homes with him before she transitioned. That's still too close for comfort for me right now. I wish it wasn't but it is. And thanks for all the virtual hugs everyone!
I can empathize. My entire state is more like a small town on a larger scale. I'd like to start exploring the gay community more, but there's a fairly decent chance that I'd run into or be seen by someone I indirectly know, and then gossip will spread the way that gossip does, and then suddenly I'm "out" to way more people than I'm ready to be. It's probably silly, but hard to not feel that way. *sigh* Anyway, here's another virtual hug for you. Hopefully these things will get easier with time. (*hug*)
We all need huggs every now and then. Sometimes when Mike is home I ask him to hold me for a min. He does even if he does not want to at that moment. I try not to be too needy, but some days we just need it and so does he.... It's being human! Our little dog needs it all the time! LOL June
Husband now wants me out sooner than later so he can heal. futon couch time here for me. Got the kitty. Hugs from best son ever. No grown up hugs or snuggles which are my favorite thing. Going to have to be sad and get one of those giant body pillows.
Yeah I understand... we do live in very small worlds. maybe check out the scene in Indianapolis (assuming there is one), though again the unknown connections might be there too. Sending hugs your way.
I have a deep physical craving for a long hug, preferably from a big guy. I am fortunate to live in the NYC area so there is lots to do to meet people. Tomorrow night I'm starting a gay men's psychotherapy group. Excited, anxious, trying to be optimistic but it's not my nature. It's hard for me to believe I can meet someone at this point of my life, I too have lots of regrets about waiting so long to come out. I've just got to push myself to go the next step and get out of the house. Well, since the mrs. Now is planning for me to go at some point in the not too distant future, I've got to think of something. By the way, SimpleMan, don't mean to in any way trivialize what you're experiencing, but right now my best hug is coming from my best friend, Max (my dog). He is always there for me.
I hear ya and completely understand. I have days where I wish I had someone to cuddle/hold, and sometimes that desire is quite intense. But...I don't have that, so I keep plugging on!
No offense taken whatsoever. I definitely miss having a dog. It would definitely help somewhat. Yeah Eddy, I am acquaintances with way too many gay folks up there for there to be any hope of being out to only a few people. (My degree is in theatre. I wonder how many of them would say, "Yeah, we already knew.") Today was decent even though at my sister's today my mom referred to a movie that came on TV as queer with a really derogatory tone. Surprisingly less stressful than the "You need to find a woman." talk at Easter. And for you DublinBoy. (*hug*)
