Hello everyone! Thanks for clicking, and to start off I have some background to tell. I am 16 soon, out and have had a relationship with someone and dated other guys for the past few months. However, recently, I have worked on making sure I am happy. Which has certainly helped I have had a crush on this person I went to public school with and then met again in Highschool (he's a year older). We started talking and getting to know each other and I had always suspected he may be gay, and eventually we talked about how although he is he wasn't ready to act on it. Last night I was hosting a party and a friend of mine brought by my crush. The party was going great and my guests were entertaining themselves, so I lead my crush and his 4 friends to an upstairs room. We started to play truth or dare and someone (another gay guy) asked my crush if he was also gay. To which my crush admitted to. (!) Eventually someone dared me to kiss my crush which he complied to. Finally, by the end of the night (and with a few drinks into us) we were playing spin the bottle. The rules were if the bottle landed on the same person twice in a row you had to make out. Lucky for me, I got to make out with my crush, who more then happily reciprocated. The other rule was, three times meant alone time in the closet. When my crush and I had to go into the closet, I was prepared for a talk or some light kissing tops. However, he immediately grabbed me and kissed me so passionately and it was the nicest thing I could have hoped for. On top of all this wonderfulness, when ever the bottle landed twice on anyone but me he wouldn't make out. It was just me Now that it's the next day, I'm not too sure how to handle things. All of us who played truth or dare crashed together and went for breakfast, and things weren't awkward or different but they weren't anything special either. My gut is telling me he has somethings to think about but will most likely result in a good thing for me. But my head is saying, what if it doesn't? What if it was just a night of fun? Next weekend just the five of us will be hanging out and sleeping over, so who knows what could happen. I'm really not sure what to do from here, I don't want to scare him off so I'm giving him space, but I want him to text me so bad Anyways, thanks for listening and as always any advice or feedback is amazing!
Well, either way that sounds pretty awesome! I never had a problem like this before but i wish I did! My advice is have fun with that and #1 be safe!
Text him, ask how he is for now. Give him some space, maybe he'll bring it up. Maybe you two should talk about what you two "are". "The talk". But don't bring it up for maybe a day or two unless he brings it up. He probably feels very similarly to how you feel in some ways, unsure of what to do next. And I would also make sure you aren't drinking when you have the talk But this is like the best possible problem glad it is working out!
I would just talk to him like normal. If he brings it up, talk to him. I think he will bring it up sooner or later, so til then let him have a little room to absorb everything that has happened.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around young people at 15 or 16 being out all night and going for breakfast together... Where are their parents!?!? Otherwise, sounds like things went well. Way to go!
It sounds like both of you have feelings for each other. Drunk or not, he wouldn't have refused to make out with others if he weren't trying to send you a message. What you don't say is if you are his first crush/relationship/makeout. If so, and if he's just coming out, he may just be thinking "OMG i just made out with a DUDE!" even if he's admitted to himself -- and others -- that he's gay. So yes, he may just be thinking things through in his head. The bottom line is, you can't really do much of anything other than give him a little space. And that's the hard part. If you push it too much you can send the wrong message and appear clingy, so just giving it a little space and time should help things along. And the fact you have a built-in opportunity to see each other next week is great! Just go with the flow, and see what develops... that's really all you can do.
Personally, I wouldn't text him. I'd say an e-mail (or FB private message) would probably would be a better option. Keep it simple, keep it light, keep it friendly. Just something like "Just wanted you to know I had a great time at the party. Hope it was as much fun for you. " That's it. This leaves an option open for him to converse if he wants, but doesn't press the case if he doesn't. Lex
Hey everyone! Thanks for all the reply's!!! I was hanging out with his best friend tonight and she and I talked a lot! We had already been friends for a while now, but we really got close tonight. I was telling her all about my madly, insanely, long crush on him and about the conversations between us. Turns out she didn't know how close we had been which was, as she said very odd for him. This gives me the idea that although he told her about other people who have shown interest in him he didn't mention me. Then, the best news by far came later on tonight. We had all wanted to hangout again, but just the five of us from spin the bottle. I said everyone could come over to my house on Saturday and so tonight I sent out invites. While talking about the different things planned for Saturday I mentioned how I still had the bottle from spin the bottle. He replyed with Haha Good I was definitely happy. I'm planning on taking things incredibly slow. I'm not looking for a fling or a relationship with an average Joe. I have liked him far too long to not be content waiting longer. I know he has a lot to think about and I want to be able to help him when HE wants me to.
Oh man, it just keeps getting better! Our mutual friend needs us to pose as a couple for a photography class. I want to stop fighting all of these hopes and wants because they are so strong, but I'm terrified of getting hurt. It's so incredibly scary for me. I've never been the type to become so infatuated with a person. I usually can keep my cool and deal with the little butterflies in my stomach but this is an all over light headed haze. When I think about it and let myself imagine the possibilities of a relationship, and mutual trust and feelings; the thrill of falling in love and feeling it; that rush from when they smile or the way they kiss you and take your breathe away I nearly start to cry. I tell myself, "the higher you climb the harder you fall" and it scares me. I don't want to feel the full effect of these dreams if they are never going to come true. Yet when I think of how this whole situation has turned out, I feel like it was meant to happen. Not like a meant to be together forever thing, but a meant to be together for now thing. Is it ok to let myself feel these things, or will I end up heartbroken from all the build up?
Well, that just depends on how confident you consider yourself. If you consider yourself a confident person, then you should be just fine if it all fails. Being heartbroken isn't something you should fear in advance, but try and avoid irrational hopes. The hopes you have don't seem at all irrational to me.
Let's put it this way: If this is your first serious relationship, you're going to experience some really, really intense feelings. If and when the relationship ends, you will also experience some really, really intense feelings. And unfortunately there's nothing much you can do to mitigate the feelings. As my newly discovered brilliant therapist/researcher says, vulnerability is crucial to wholehearted living; the ability to open ourselves up is a requirement in order to fully live and experience life. But by the same token, that vulnerability opens us to being hurt. But the choice is to live fully and risk hurt, or close down, and not be able to live fully. We cannot numb negative feelings without also numbing positive ones. So the best choice is to simply allow yourself to go into the experience, to try and view it realistically... that it will likely end at some point... and to simply enjoy the experience as it happens, appreciate each day you have, and accept whatever comes. As Tennyson said, I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.
Hey thanks for the reply's ! I was in a relationship this time last year with a great guy. We were together for 6 months. But this is my first crush, and seems to make things go a lot differently. Yes things are seeming great! And still at the same place they where yesterday. We have been talking over text more regularly, and at one point the conversation is great and a bit flirty then the next reply is simply a smile face. At first I thought he may have been busy and so I let him go. However when I knew he wasn't I sent another message after one of these smiles. The conversation started up for a while but then I received another smile. I'm not sure to take this as a "I'm genuinely smiling keep talking" or an "yup that's nice but you're annoying me so I'll smile." Then again, looking over my messages with others, I constantly reply in a smile because it's saying more then words Is this common?
Try and not over-think it. He could for all you know be wondering the same exact thing when you send a smile. Most of my friends send "lol" instead of a "" to end a conversation. I try to do more then that to end a conversation. Sometimes I do lol in all Caps, "LOL" or " !" sometimes I even throw in an upside down exclamation point ilmao!
Hello again everyone! Yesterday was the photo shoot, and it went awesome! Lots of hand holding, and smiling. I think my biggest issue is my lack of confidence around him. I usually carry myself confidently and use it as one of my attractions. However because this is all new, I don't already know what to do before I do it. My goal, is to remain confident and comfortable around him today during lunch together!
Conversely, you can spin that lack of confidence to your favour with a remark about it, something like, "You know, it's funny, normally I feel so confident, but you make me all wobbly and nervous because I like you so much, I don't even know what to do!" Being confident is attractive, but being confident enough to admit when you're not confident is even more attractive.
Congrats on the night haha. Personally, unless you feel it's necessary don't bring up the night. Unless he's gay and you know it won't ruin your friendship. I wish the same thing would happen to me...but hey congrats haha
