Ummm. Out. Feeling good. Getting used to waking up smiling few days in a row. Getting ready to start slow move beginning June 1 (official July 1st for me not sleeping at house.) Getting used to liking me and self confidence. Not complaining but it is all little-lot scary too. At least new place is really clean. (greatwhale you were very brave cleaning your new bathroom) Grateful for EC friends support on this journey.(&&&)
The bathroom is still giving me nightmares! :dry: I take a rather stoic attitude with all these changes, a kind of go with the flow attitude (lots flowing these days!). Just determined not to let negative emotions take over...because I know that things never stay the same.
gw-Should I mention mine came with a new toilet seat cover in packaging? Learning not to react to crap is a work-in-progress....HAHA no potty joke intended.
Realized today that this past few months husband has been quietly taking over my jobs at home. I go to do things and they are done. Lost my housewife job.(domestic engineer Can't go back to old profession. Really is a whole new beginning. Total life makeover.
Since I moved out, my wife has been forced to do the same, including getting up way earlier than normal, making lunches and driving the kids to school (normally I would do these things so she could get up about 40 minutes later than me, shower and take the inevitable "10 minutes" (translation: 45 mins) to get ready, do her hair, etc. whereupon I would return the car to her and take the bus to work. Was at the house on Tuesday...what a mess.
I don't know gw- Kinda wish he wasn't so efficient. Towels folded better n hotel. Laundry caught up.Kitchen immaculate. Its a silent "See I don't need you" Also I sure its a nervous thing to not think about everything. Being a house wife/stay at home Mom was so much of my identity for so long. The "dotting" wife as I was once called. As I mentioned I can't go back to profession I went to school for. Didn't realized just how deep my "cover" was. He did have a mini tantrum over a field trip form-7 years I have done all forms & teacher meetings.
The silent "I don't need you" goes with the verbal "You have everything you always wanted and it wasn't enough" guilt trip." ---------- Post added 16th May 2013 at 03:25 PM ---------- I settled. I was not even aware I became one of those wives that completely lost her identity. Post coming out to him we were watching a program we had always watched together. I said I didn't like that program anymore. I liked things he liked because he liked them. T There were shows I liked but he didn't so I did not watch them when he was home. I don't even like to watch tv anymore. He never wanted to go out. Thought he was ashamed of me. Funny I lost the weight & we went out more recently. He did not want a hobby w/me. TV/sex.That was it. Truth/reality sucks!!! ---------- Post added 16th May 2013 at 03:41 PM ---------- Since I'm venting it DOES piss me off he outed me to everyone thru most gossipy people. I am not ashamed of being gay but it was kind of mean way to do it. He also shared some very personal details of feelings I had for a woman last year with his parents and who else?. Really grumpy.
OMG do I identify with this thread... Always on about how he looks after the house better than me, cooks better than me, I should stop making myself depressed all the time, should work harder at my career. All my friends were his, and he resented it as soon as I started getting my own. Watching the same re-runs of TV over and over for years. I got completely squashed. Even now I get text messages if I am actually out "where's the kids piggy bank?", "have we run out of tin foil?", "is there any food for the children?" (always!). Sheesh.... Told everyone we knew I dumped him and ran off with another woman and it was a total surprise and he had no idea. I mean - I used to wear mens underwear and buy them when he was around. The only friends I had of my own were gay, and I used to comment on the attractiveness of women on the telly! I don't think I behaved well, but that doesn't make him a perfect angel.
