My sister and me were just texting and me getting a hair cut because I'm a guy but I got hair like down to my nipples. When I said no she said "fine. Be gay" I said funny but I'm not gay which was true she said you sure I'd be fine if you were I said I was but I'm not sure anymore wether I'm really bisexual or if I might be gay
Hey Mattjm, first off I want to say that if you're unsure about your sexuality, there is no need to be hasty about labeling yourself. Give yourself some time and I'm sure you'll discover whether your attractions lie solely with men or whether you are still attracted to both genders. Also, if you decide on one or the other know that it's not a permanent decision on how you will live your life. For instance, if you decide that you are gay and later on down the road you realize that you are still attracted to both genders, its ok to call yourself a bisexual. It's hard to be sure where your attractions lie and you'll probably experience times when you lean one way or the other but its ok to be unsure. You don't have to rush to label your sexuality.
Did you mean to say that you were sure you were gay, or sure that you were bisexual? Sorry for having to ask I just want to make sure I'm understanding completely.
To make it all clear she asked if I was sure I wasn't gay I told I was sure I wasn't gay didn't tell her I was bi but I've been recently lost a lot of my feelings toward girls
Oh ok, I understand now. As I mentioned earlier a shift in where most of your feelings lie may happen more than once. Your feelings may shift back towards women or they may stay towards men, either way don't rush to label yourself. Just follow your heart and you can't go wrong. Do your best to stay happy with yourself, that's what is most important. Have you considered coming out to your sister?
She said shed support me but me and her fight all the time and I feel like she'd find a way to weaponize it on me
I don't know your sister so I can't tell you that she won't do that but if there is a chance that she would use your sexuality to hurt you, it's probably best that you don't tell her yet. I know I would hate it if someone held my sexuality against me.
Well it's not so much I think she'd hold it against me as try to tell our parents which I've tried but ended up stopping myself cus I just can't tell them
If you aren't ready to tell your parents you probably don't want to risk having her put you in a situation where you'll end up having to. If you think she would tell them and you aren't ready to I don't think you should tell her yet. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you feel safe doing it.
My mom I'd tell cus I know she'd support me but my dad would probably pull it out of her and he's really homophobic so it's a tricky situation
You seem to be in a very tough spot. If you were to tell your mom, do you think she would tell your dad, or would she be able to keep it a secret?
I think my mom would try to keep it a secret but dad would figure a way to get her to tell him our family can be very persuasive
It sounds like telling your immediate family directly might not be the best idea. If you have any aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, etc. who have come out it might be a good idea to talk to them and see if they can help you with your father.
Well I have gay cousins but my dad hates them because they are gay most of my family is pretty right wing
That's awful. It definitely sounds like telling your dad isn't a good idea. It's terrible that in today's modern society that people can't just accept the fact that not everyone is the same. I wish I knew a way to help him accept you and your cousins. You probably don't want to put a strain on your relationship with your father so I don't think you need to tell him now. Are you and he close? If you are it might make him more likely to accept your sexual orientation and eventually be happy for you.
Me and my dad are pretty much two peas in a pod best friends but if he learns well I don't want to label it so ill just say if he finds out I like men he'll explode
I'm glad you and your father are so close. I wish I was like that with my dad. I would hope that your closeness with him would help him accept you but if he feels that strongly against it then now probably is not the best time to tell him.
Found best way to describe my dad. Dads homosexual tolerance<right wing conservative republicans homosexual tolerance
I think I get where he stands. I like your description of it but I want you to know that not all people who are politically right wing conservative republicans are against homosexuality. I am very tolerant of homosexuality, being a bisexual person myself, and I consider myself fairly conservative politically and if I had to label myself with a political party I would call myself a republican. While I agree with most of their policies concerning government actions and expansion, when it comes to social issues I tend to lean to the left. I'm very tolerant of homosexuality and of different cultures, etc. where other conservative republicans fail to be and that saddens me. I wish there was a way to show more people that it's ok to be tolerant and accepting of others while still holding onto your political views. Sorry for the political rant. If your father is truly as intolerant and hateful as you describe then I think it would be best for you to wait until you're able to support yourself financially to tell him. You don't want him punishing you for your sexual orientation. I know waiting that long sounds awful but it might be the best course.
