So I moved to another state about a year ago and it's been really hard for me to be fully out to everyone back home my friends and family know I'm attracted to girls but anyone new and my workplace don't know I'm sure I give off vibes but I explain my dating as if I'm straight if it's about a girl I say a guy I'm sure I'm a bad liar and I hate keeping it from people but it's difficult I'd like to be out to everyone especially anyone new because I feel it will open up my chances for a relationship with the sex I want a relationship with it's also hard because it's been Harding making new friends in a new place I wouldn't want to lose the ones I have stupid I know but it's like I have to come out all over again do you think I should just get it out of the way and announce on facebook my orientation? I'm friends with coworkers on there and everyone would def know or you think I don't have to announce it to anyone until I want to thing is I'm attracted to my friend I'd like to know if she was interested but how can she if she assumes I'm straight can someone give me some tips I told a few of my guy friends and they don't care I am but girls I'm afraid they'll think I will hit on them I'm 29 goodlooking was told I look like Jessica Biel any thoughts? Am I intimidating even if people knew I was gay? Thoughts?
First of all, it you look like Jessica Biel, good for you! I'm sure you'll put a smile the right girl's face. :icon_wink As for moving to a new state, it seems as though you have the perfect opportunity just to be you without having to worry about coming out. In your home village/town/city, people knew you. Perhaps they had expectations of what you were and how you ought to be. Maybe you felt you had to come out to them to set the record straight, and so they could know the real you. Now you're in a place where nobody knows you or anything about you. They don't know your past and didn't know you as a child. They have no preconceived ideas about you that need to be corrected. All that these people know about you is what you let them see. If you let them see that you like girls as well as guys, then that's the you that they will come to know and love, and you'll make true and close friendships. If you present them with a false heterosexual image, then you're not allowing them to get to know the real you. And if you then get close to some of them as friends, you'll be making things unnecessarily difficult for yourself when you eventually feel you have to tell them the truth, and explain why you didn't do that to begin with. So if you meet someone or you go on date, just say that you've meet this really nice girl and that you quite like her. They'll know you like girls. And if they have a problem with that, perhaps they're not the right friends for you. As is often said: 'The people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.' All the best.
