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newly discovered sexuality at 29

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by amanda, May 7, 2007.

  1. amanda

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    I am 29 yrs. old, married/separated, 2 kids
    Just recently admitted to myself I am a lesbian.
    I came about this revelation because I have a crush on a woman.
    I was justifying my feelings by saying I want/need to have an emotional connection
    with this person because I didn't have that connection with my mom? I am lonely? I have had a difficult marriage? I am going through a stressful time in my life? Who knows the real reason because a gay man helped me discover the real reason for these emotions.
    I am a very analytical thinker, so I responded by looking over my life and trying to piece together the puzzle pieces of my life.
    I do know now that I am a lesbian, I have never felt "right" as a woman trying to carry on a relationship with men.
    I grew up in a religious family and spent 9 yrs in a parochial school. I was taught that gay people go to hell.
    I have buried these feeling for fear of rejection and criticism/judgement by my family.
    I have been allowing and accepting the feelings I have to surface, and I have a great sense of relief to finally know the reason behind my inability to feel "normal".
    I hope that I can find the support I need here because right now, I really need it......
    amanda
     
  2. c_jayo6

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    Hi Amanda and welcome to EC...this is a very, very cool place to get support, advice, or just to rant, lol. The people are great here and I'm sure you'll figure that out soon enough. (!) :smilewave
     
  3. xxAngelOnFirexx

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    Welcome! I think that you will enjoy it here and soon become addicted to the love and support you find from everyone here as I have done. :smilewave (*hug*)
     
  4. CelebrityHead

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    woah that must have been very difficult for you!
    well im only new aswell and I've been overwhelmed with all the support on offer here
    people here are really great :thumbsup:
     
  5. beckyg

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    Welcome Amanda! Its a wonderful feeling to be able to live your life authentically!
     
  6. Jim1454

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    Hi Amanda. I'm a 36 yo dad that is recently separated from my wife. I've also come to the conclusion that I'm gay - so I can relate to your almost overwhelming situation.

    I'm not sure I have any advice - because this is so new to me as well. I'm just trying to be honest with myself, and allowing myself the time to get comfortable with me. My wife is aware, and is being VERY supportive, in that she totally understands the requirement for me to deal with this on my own time. We're still very close, and trying to be the best parents we can be in this situation - making our kids a priority.

    I'm not sure if you've shared this with your ex - maybe that wouldn't be a source of support depending on your situation - but maybe it would be.

    I've also reached out to others in the gay community. This is a great spot,and I've found other men in a similar situation. There is a 'gay fathers' group in Toronto, and I'm sure there are 'gay mothers' groups as well in most major cities. Look for one near you to find others in a similar situation. I think you'll be amazed at how many others have found themselves on the same path...

    Good luck.
     
  7. amanda

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    Jim, so far i have only told about 10 people.
    Only one person in my family, didn't get a good response.
    I have not told my "husband" maybe never will. Maybe will let my
    kids tell on me.
    thanks for the welcome
    amanda
     
  8. TeeBe

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    Wow, tough situation. I'm not sure that I can be much help, as I haven't actually gotten up the courage to come out. But we are always here when you need us! Everyone here is awesome for support and advice. Welcome!
     
  9. Treval

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    tough place to be, I'd imagine. This is great place for support, or just talk.
     
  10. jayden

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    welcome from me to jayden
     
  11. live805

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    ello Amanda
    welcome to EC
    i feel like i should say something encouraging or something, but it doesnt seem to be my place so i'll just say i think you'll find support here and all
    hope things go better

    i
     
  12. shygrrl31

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    I'm glad to see somone older on here. I know that you came here for advice from people who have experiences to share with you and to guide you, but you're already farther out than me! Do you still question whether or not you're "really" gay? And how did you settle that internal struggle?