New here, need to vent

Good evening everyone
For the tldr; I got outted at school this week by someone I considered my best friend and now my entire life feels like its falling apart at the seams.
I have always had an love for writing ever since I learned how to and I hope to write for a living one day, maybe for a massive online publication or a paper (if there are any left by the time I enter the field) but writing has also helped me decompress, I have a journal that I pour anything that is bothering me into and it usually doesn't seem so bad when I read it back, putting everything into perspective. Writing just for myself doesn't seem to be working this time, so I googled "lesbian support forum" and clicked the first link I saw, thats how Im here. Im hoping that posting this anonymously for all to see and maybe it will help, but I'm not holding my breath.

I live on a small island in the pacific called New Zealand, its a fairly liberal country with subsidies healthcare, welfare and tax credits for low income households and gay marrige. While we have our vocal minority that are millitant conservatives and want all of this abolished, 99% of kiwis just don't care how other people live their lives.

My mother and father are the 1%, me and my brother were raised catholic but between you and me I never really bought it. A vivid memory I have is when I was 13 and we were all in the dining room having dinner, the tv was on so that my father could watch the news and rant about leftists and benificiaries. An ad for Shortland St came on the tv and one of the scenes depicted to men kissing, I was startled when I heard a loud crash, my father had thrown his plate off the table and begins to yell "WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY PUT THIS DISGUSTING GARBAGE ON WHEN PEOPLE ARE EATING!!". His tantrum devolved to him muttering about how all faggots should be put on an island somewhere far away so normal people didnt have to look at them. While this was not the first time I had heard all this it sticks in my memory because at that time I had started to notice that girls were far more appealing to me then boys were and I didn't know why. The memory sticks to me because its the first time I started to think that I may be one of these disgusting people that make him so angry and no, he did not differenciate, whether you were gay or lesbian, to him you were a queer, a fag, a sicko, a sinner.

Im 16 now and over these past 3 years my preference for girls has not waned and yet I kept it a secret, I never let anyone know in anyway until last weekend and this is where my story starts. There are 5 of us in my little circle of friends but only 1 is relevant for most of this, in the spirit of anonymity let just call her Amy because is short and easy to type. Amy was my best friend, she was the only one I hung out with outside of school, she had slept in my bed many times and I hers, nothing like that ofcourse just innocent (ok she had stupidly easy access to alcohol so maybe not that innocent) sleepovers. She is also really pretty, shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes and an atheletic figure, looks kind of like Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter just with slightly darker hair and a light tan. Needless to say alot of the boys in my school have a crush on her but there is one more person who also was in love with her and wasn't a boy: me, just another thing to bottle and hide.

Last weekend I stayed at her house while her parents were out at some party in the city and since we were 2 teenagers in a house with no adults we ofcourse raided the liquor cabinet, her parents always knew but she never seems to receive punishment for anything, by contrast if my mum or dad caught me drinking I'd been grounded till the robots overthrow us. We were about halfway through a bottle of Jack Daniels and were talking about all sorts of crap while watching Baby Driver and the topic of boys came up, I just pretend that I liked this guy or that one with these conversations although I would sometimes throw out vague hints that i liked her, they either went over her head or she ignored them, i couldnt tell. But this time I made a mistake, I gave her the clearest hint imaginable. I kissed her. She pulled away Instantly as if she had been shocked by electricity and looked away from me, I did the same. She suggested we go to sleep and I agreed, feeling horrible and ashamed. We barely spoke or made eye contact the next day and I left her place alot earlier than I usually would normally. When I got home I went straight to my room and cried, I felt like I had made the biggest mistake I could make and lost my best friend because of it, but i didnt underestimated how much that kiss would affect me at that time.

I got to school on Monday and walking through the halls something felt weird, I felt like people were talking about me and like eyes were following me around. A couple of boys walked up to me, got close up to my face and licked the gap between their index and middle fingers, now dont have much of a chance of becoming a brain surgeon or a scientist but I'm smart enough know what that gesture means. Luckly I got a break in class thanks to our very strict english teacher but the break between 2nd and 3rd period was 15 minutes of hell, snickering through the halls and that subtle gesture generously delivered again. Now I don't want to make my school sound like a horrible cesspool of bigotry because its not, only a small amount of people were teasing me but they are the people that have the impact. One person was worse than anyone else, this guy who has been a professional asshole most of his life came up to me and cupped my butt and whispered something in my ear and then grabbed my breast with his other hand so hard it felt like he was going to rip it off, I yelped but he just laughed and walked away.

I left school after that, I felt nauseas and scared. When I got home it was before lunchtime so ofcourse I was asked by my mum why I was back so early, I told her it was a half day for a teachers meeting and she believed me. The next day I faked sick to stay home, Im an honest person and if I say im sick my mother never questions me so that was no problem. It was about 3pm when my mum walked into my room with a stern look on her face, a boy's mum from school had told her about the rumors that had been spread about me, I dont want to get into the multiple conversations/berratings that were had but to for context my mum is no more accepting than my father. Long extra story short; Im now staying at my older brothers house, haven't been to school since Tuesday and haven't heard from my parents.
I feel alone and betrayed, it was 1 kiss and I feel like my life is ruined. I know its a bit dramatic to say that, things will probably go back to normal eventually like every teen movie has taught me but I dont know if I can wait.

Thank you for reading, I know this was a bit of a rambling wall of text but I need to get this off my chest.