I am a girl and I am in a relationship with a man. I have been in this relationship for 5 years now and I hadn't told him I was bisexual until a couple days ago. He is the only one that knows. I have never kissed a girl but I really want to, and I love him so I don't want to leave him or cheat on him, but I keep having these thoughts in my head and I don't know how to handle it. Has anybody been in a situation like this before? Or does any one have any advice for me?:help:
You could try talking to him about it. Explain everything you just said, how you love him and you want to stay with him but you're curious about kissing a girl. He might be willing to work something out with you so that you could experiment, just make sure that all parties involved are aware of the situation and do your best to keep communication open about it so that things don't get confusing.
The only advice i can think of, is follow your heart. Don't let thoughts ruin your relationship. Everyone has thoughts but sometimes they aren't thoughts that can help us in life. Before i knew i was gay, i was in many relationships with girls (shhhh:***: ) but then when i started middle school i knew i was gay and started coming out to friends. Yet, i still had straight thoughts and dated girls which i regret in the long end. I don't know if this will help, but remember follow your heart and dreams. Listen to it actually, your mind will always play tricks on you so you will please it. If you love your bf, stay with him and dont let anything change that. Your thoughts of kissing or being with a girl, may always be there but your bf wont if you ruin things.
I'm guessing you feel guilty about your thoughts regarding kissing another woman. Perhaps you feel the thought itself is some form of cheating. I'm curious as to why you felt the need to tell him about it. If it was going to remain only in your head and nothing more then I would think you could just keep it to yourself. Are you wanting to act on it and you are looking to him, and perhaps the blogosphere, for approval?
I felt as if I was lying to him but not telling him my feelings and I hated keeping it inside. Also, I would never cheat, I feel like this post was more for seeing if anyone else has dealt with this and how they handled it. Kinda just looking for a way to suppress my thoughts rather than acting upon them.
Ah, I see. Sorry about my nefarious assumptions. My experience is these things go away on their own if you don't act on them. It may take a while, months even. It helps to avoid stimulation. Don't let yourself daydream about it anymore and certainly don't flirt with a woman. Keep really busy. I do 5 am workouts weekday mornings. It helps to tire me out and suppress my depression. Increased serotonin levels from exercise can also improve clarity of thought which can help your mood.
