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needing a second opinion

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by JakeSteven, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. JakeSteven

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    hi,

    I was talking to tgis guy for a bit and even meet up with him... and I found that he wouldnt ever let himself date a guy, even though he is bi. he is fine with having sex but he rather date women ans marry a women. i understans that hos family would disown him for being with a guy and that he really into his church which is against same sex couple and ECT.

    before i stop talking to him, he decide to block me on snapchat which hurt a bit and we stop talking for a bit untill he message me on (a hookup app) about what happen on snapchat and i asked him what does he mean and well, i delected the app becuase i gave up on dating.

    i just feel like i could tryed to make it work but ik that i dont need to the in a relationship that forces me into a multi scheme plan where i am just the mistress and he gets every thing else with some other women and puts me on the back burner.

    am i right to walk away?
     
    #1 JakeSteven, Jan 13, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2018
  2. Flynn S

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    Yes. If he doesn't want a relationship with you, don't force it on him. Although his preferences may seem odd to you, you should still respect them. There's a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction; they may not always align. You shouldn't have to "make it work" with him; relationships are two-sided, they are not supposed to be supported by one sole individual. If you are looking for a relationship and he is not willing to give it, you should walk away.
     
    Wesley007 likes this.
  3. quebec

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    JakeSteven.... Dude, he is using you. :old_mad: He won't ever date you, so he won't ever be in a relationship with you. He is just using you as a sex toy! I know those are pretty harsh words, but it seems that they are unfortunately true. There is nothing really wrong with hookups if both parties are of age and agree it's ok. But it's pretty clear here that he only wants you for sex. Don't let him use you like that. It's tough if you have developed feelings for him. :old_frown: Sometimes the heart does things that the brain knows will never work out. Save yourself any more heart ache and anguish. Walk away and start looking for someone who actually cares about you. You are worth far more than to be his go-to when he is horny. Perhaps if you tell him how you feel he might think about it before he does it to another guy (I doubt it, but who knows!) ....David
     
  4. Chip

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    I wouldn't be as strong-worded as Quebec, but basically you're dealing with someone who has tremendous self-hate, may well be gay rather than bi, but can't accept himself. So he rationalizes that if he just has sex, that he isn't actually gay.

    I agree that he is pretty much using you, and that you deserve better. Honestly, there are much better people out there who don't have all the baggage this person has. I'd suggest letting this go and finding someone healthier. BTW, excellent plan dumping the hookup app. You're really unlikely to find anyone who is real dating material on there.
     
  5. resu

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    Yes, it’s hard, but take it as a lesson learned. This guy is too dependent on his homophobic family and church restrictions. It’s 2018, and these attitudes are outdated. You deserve someone who is an equal in terms of accepting their real sexuality.
     
  6. quebec

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    Yes, I spoke a bit too harshly. It's just that having someone treat you like that is so wrong. We are not something to be used for the fun or escape of others and I felt that was happening to you. Whatever his reasons or justifications for treating you like that, they are so very wrong. Best for you to rid of him, and yes...there are plenty of other guys out there would would treat you with respect. ...david