Hey. So if I pay for therapy, my savings will be non existent. I'm 25 and feel like I should be seriously saving now, but I have less than £1,000 to my name. But I need help. Meds aren't doing it for me, and haven't before, talking does help but I struggle to justify spending the money. I feel like if I pay for therapy it will stop me moving out, buying things I enjoy, etc. But that if I don't pay for therapy I'll start to spiral mentally. So many things continue to bother me. My crush seeing through me and actively trying to date. Feeling rejected and stunted professionally. Feeling isolated and depressed and struggling to meet new people. Going through personal turmoil and being both ghoster and ghostee more times than I'd like. Having health issues. Having no time. To be honest my crush seeing through me gets to me the most, and yes I've given up on him and I'm open to someone else but it hurts okay. But yeah. Let's be honest - therapy is a luxury. Any advice would be welcome
What would you do with the extra savings? Would the result of you having the extra money equate to it's own form of therapy? As in, will it change your situation for the better? Will it alleviate some of the things you listed as a cause for your depression? Will it elevate your mental state? When I think about the sort of things that people often list as things that will improve ones mood and give them some sort of hope, something to look forward too, I can easily see that a few of those things would require money to do/accomplish. If therapy leaves you broke and without life options that could be a life improvement, then is the therapy really as helpful as it is detrimental? Don't get me wrong, Therapy is nice, and sometimes one should not be without it, especially if it is the last line of defense, but the goal of therapy is to get you moving in a positive direction again, which is also something extra money can do, but not if you do not bother to utilize it in ways that will improve your quality of life. Understand though, that I have never suffered from depression, or at least the type that doesn't go away. Any melancholic or depressive moods I've had have always been circumstantial in nature, so the fix is often easier than clinical depression.
Cinnamoon.....Are there any LGBTQ Support organizations in your area that could help you find a free or low cost therapist? It's just a thought...I'm in the U.S., so I don't know how it works in the UK. In the meantime the folks here on Empty Closets will do our best to help you if you feel that you can share some of the things that are difficult for you. You are a part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care! .....David
Have you tried to get free therapy through your GP? I know that NHS system in the UK sucks and the waiting times can be very long, but especially, if you don't have any spare money to spend on therapy, then it can be worth it in the end. Psychiatrists are the ones who prescribe medication and psychologist are the ones who listen and offer advice and work with you. At least this is how it works in Estonia. I see both and the two combined have helped me, medication+therapy. Sometimes you also need something stronger for it to have an effect on you, so definitely talk to your GP. Health overall is an investment towards your future, because without health we can't even earn money either.
I'm sorry meds aren't helping yet. If they are low cost you might as well let them try it all on you. Maybe your body metabolizes it faster than others so you need a mega dose, but only a Dr. can say. I get in moods like that where I want as much meds to make me a robot and not feel bad but don't think they'll do that haha. What does your crush seeing through you mean? I'm sorry it's troubling to you. If possible make it so you don't see any of his socials or whatever to work on letting go. Unrequited crush/love happens to us all so we can relate. If you move out will you have more responsibilities than now? That would take up more time and feel stressful especially with depressed mood and then get farther behind on chores. How much is therapy compared to monthly expenses in your own place? It's more rhetorical to crunch the numbers on your own to see what makes sense for you. One idea is to keep working on mental health while getting enough exercise and healthy foods to improve physical health and related benefits. If you feel better generally, you might have energy/interest to find a side job you enjoy for extra savings. Once you've been feeling good for a while, maybe you meet a guy and hit it off and move in with him. Relationships and living with a guy will take work and compromise but if you're both communicating and honest it's supposed to help it work well and be fulfilling. There are times you'll need his support and vice versa which sounds very nice. Still, you have to accept it will probably take several relationships, even letting go one you think is perfect if he doesn't feel the same. It sounds too painful to me but most everyone does it in life. Keep talking and you'll figure it out. You are young, capable and can get help to make the life you want. Go to a Pride event of some kind. Maybe an art fair and walk around and then grab a drink and a hot dog and enjoy!
It's just crazy. For the cost of therapy, I could pay monthly for a new car. I could buy shoes, clothes, pay for fuel to drive around to different places. I could pay for movies, coffees, add money to my savings. I can't justify spending money just to talk anymore. To be honest I'm trying medication, I've only been taking it a couple of days. The side effects scare me but I have to try something, so I guess I'm trying to have faith in my doctor. There are a few, sort of, but groups and support is either at the end of a long waiting list, age restrictive, or too far away from me to be relevant. It does really help being on here, but I'm not a massive writer so I do feel like I can't contribute as much as I like sometimes, which also means I feel bad leaning on the people on this forum for support. Yeah medication and therapy can help. I'm trying to accept I might need to be on some kind of medication. I've read some stories where the medication I'm on had stripped people of their libido, made them gain a lot of weight, made them emotionally numb, which terrifies me. As does the brain zaps that come with quitting cold turkey and other potential side effects I'm experiencing already like brain fog and headaches. But other people have said it saved their lives and I guess if I don't try this medication, the doctors can't really help me anymore. It's hard, because I know it's unrequited and I should move on but honestly most people don't do it for me. I've only ever had strong ish feelings for 5 guys in my whole life and I've only ever been in 1 relationship, so it feels like I'm never going to find the right person for me. I've quit apps temporarily while I try medication and try to work on myself but it feels like I'm cutting myself off from ways of potentially meeting new people by doing that too. And there are a couple of guys I'm talking to, three in fact, who are into me and I like chatting to them but I don't see them the same way back. I know that might seem like a lot but honestly I have no idea what I'm doing and either I like someone else or someone else likes me that way but it never seems to match up. Yeah I could definitely see about getting a part time job at weekends for example. Some days work is unbearable and honestly some days it actually lifts me out of my depression for a while. And thanks for calling me young and capable lol, I don't often feel either of those things. But I try my best. I'm still probably a bit too shy and introverted to just go to a pride event myself, but I really do hope I can carry on being open to meeting new people and feeling part of the LGBTQ+ community, even if I'm a wallflower at the same time.
I know people who take or have taken on anti-depressants. There is definitely a break in period of several weeks, as well as the same weening process to get off it. in the meantime it is supposed to "level out" your mood swings. The highs are not as high, the lows are not as low. Some ppl find this to be a worthwhile tradeoff, as for the other side effects, I do know one person who gained a bit of weight, and another who suffered from TMJ as a result. but not everyone has these issues. Some of the things you can do with the extra money could be positive life improvements that might also help with feeling like your life is a dead end with no way out. You could join a gym or something too, which has the added benefit or social support as well as improving self image and endorphins.
In every medication there is sideeffects, even just regular painkillers, it's just that not everyone gets them and the medication ends up helping them instead. You can always tell your GP, if you get a sideeffect. I had a sideeffect for the very first depression medication, when I took a larger dose, when I needed it. It caused me a bad stomach pains and made me sick. I don't get any sideeffects with my current one, though I have larger dosage. It all depends on if you have the right medication that works for you, then you don't need to worry about the sideeffects. Mine just simply gave me ability to focus more and did help me deal with my emotions better. Mine is for depression, anxiety and adhd. I do have adhd diagnosed. If the medications numbs you, then it's definetly not the right medication for you and need to speak to the doctor about it. You should also talk to your GP about your fears involving the antideppressants. When you're taking medication, then listen to your body's needs. If something is wrong you can consult to a doctor and find other solutions.
That sounds like a lot of sessions each month. Maybe go once a month and do an experiment spending the rest of the money to see how long spending on all that improves your mood and gets you loving life. Either way you're worth it so give it a try!
I'm not sure a gym is for me, but I know what you mean. Tbh I'm really unsure about this medication, I've been functioning without and when I take a dose I feel so ill and almost like I'm drunk, when I leave it a day or two I start to feel normal again but my mood is lower and I'm more emotionally unstable. So honestly I'm not sure what to do. I keep changing my mind about whether I want to be on them or not, I've only taken 3 doses so far but it's already inconsistent because I can't seem to work up the courage to push through the initial side effects. I may go back to my doctor anyway but I'm not sure what they can offer me at this point. It's usually either medication or therapy but I've exhausted all NHS therapy options over the years and medications don't seem to work for me. And even when I pay for private therapists they don't seem to understand me either. So maybe I just need to manage everything myself I don't know. I guess, I could try finding someone I could see once a month or something. I just don't even know who would do that because for most therapists I don't think that would be often enough.
What medication is it that's taken as needed rather than daily? They told me to take it daily and it will take weeks before I know if it's working in order to adjust it or add another one. I'd like one to take just when feeling too sad as well. I hope your shrink would understand your financial situation and see you on a schedule that works for you, the client. If not find one that will. They should be glad you want to try something different to improve your mood and support your endeavor. My experience is that spending money didn't help me feel better for long. Then I was looking for something else to fill the void left when the newness wore off the last thing I wanted so badly and bought to treat myself. On some level I likely thought getting all this stuff would make me attractive to guys but it didn't work for me. I thought it works for other guys but maybe it's something else they have. Anyway good luck and let us know how you're doing!
