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Need some general dating advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mariana, Nov 14, 2017 at 8:23 PM.

  1. Mariana

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    I have recently come to the conclusion that I am terrible at dates. So I could use some very basic, general advice.

    I guess I have two main questions:
    1. How do I know that a date went well? It seems really obvious, but it isn't to me. I went on a first date today and we talked and she was nice but it didn't really feel different from meeting a new friend, you know? The only difference was that I paid for both our coffees but there was no "romantic spark" or anything. I honestly don't care whether or not I go out with this person again. If she asks I'll say yes, but I just don't know her well enough to be all that invested, and she's just not someone I was immediately strongly attracted to or anything. So is a date where you just sit and talk a "successful" date? There were some awkward pauses but also some good conversation.

    2. How do you go from talking to touching? This is super difficult for me, even with people I know a bit better. The last person I dated and really liked was a friend first before we dated and if she hadn't kissed me first it would have never happened. It just baffles me when people just casually fall into a more touchy-feely kind of behaviour and make it all look natural.

    I'm so bad at this - help!
     
  2. tay98

    Regular Member

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    1. in my opinion you can't really tell from the first date. I say that unless the first date was bad, then you should go on a second date. From my experience, that "spark" you mentioned comes once you actually know someone. I don't believe in love at first sight, at least for me. If you enjoyed the conversation I would ask her on a second date and maybe do something fun together, like bowling, so you can talk but you have something else to do in case there are awkward moments. Unless you're super extroverted, there will probably be a few akward moments when you barely know someone.

    2. I find this really difficult to. Especially with queer relationships if the other person isn't out they may not feel comfortable doing anything in public. I would go for a hug when you say hello or goodbye. Maybe even a kiss on the cheek at the end of the date? This will break the touch barrier and soon you will feel more comfortable holding hands, etc.