This has almost nothing to do with being gay or coming out, so bear with me....note that I'm not out to either of the people in this story though.... My older brother calls me up out of the blue last night (we don't talk as much as we should perhaps, but I generally know what's going on in his life and he knows what's going on in mine - except for the fact I'm gay) and we talk for a bit. It comes up in conversation that he and my younger brother are somehow not on speaking terms. My younger brother defriended the older one on Facebook, and now won't return his calls (he told me he's called about a half-dozen times, and he won't return his calls at all) Now, I'd like to come out to my younger brother sooner rather than later, but even more so I'd like to fix the relationship between them. We're all brothers! We should at least be able to TALK to each other! From his Facebook house-cleaning message (saying that he was defriending people, including two of his own brothers), I got that my younger brother thought that those that he was defriending "didn't care" about him. Now I interact with him on Facebook a lot, which is probably why I "made the cut" and my older brother didn't (he doesn't interact with *anyone* on Facebook, in fact he hates Facebook). But I thought that it was restricted to Facebook, and wouldn't carry over to actual contact with his brothers. It hurts me to know that one of my brothers is hurt because another one won't talk to him. So, since I'm on speaking terms with both of them, do I intervene? I've been thinking about calling up my younger brother, coming out to him, and saying "call your brother!" but I think that might do more harm than good too. Just very confused.....
Well I have sibling communication problems too... Including a brother. I have not seen or spoken to in 12 years... So treat any advice from me with great caution !!!! But it seems there's a natural step to be made in meeting your younger brother ( to come out - or not - as you feel) and establish what the issue is with the older brother.. It is good you want to be the catalyst for repairing the damage ... Maybe I should follow your example. X
I can't imagine not speaking with one of my brothers in 12 years! Just a completely foreign concept to me. I'm distant from one of my brothers, but we at least speak once a year, and we're certainly not enemies. I hope that through my coming out process, that remains a foreign concept to me. That's one of my biggest fears, actually.
yeh I'm sure you won't get any problem like that...!!! my big brother was always a bit homophobic.. part of the problem. I have a younger brother and a younger sister I get on fine with.. good luck
It seems to me that your coming out might be an opportunity to give them something to talk about; and perhaps also give them both some perspective on the silliness of their current dispute (i.e. you, their brother, needs their support and love at an important time...), I guess it changes the subject, as it were... But take this with a grain of salt, I have only had sisters (three!) and I assume the dynamic is probably somewhat different!
