Need help figuring out my possible bisexuality

Well I'm gonna try to not write my whole life story here, but was hoping to get some perspective from anyone out there that's hopefully similar to me that can offer some advice. But at the same time, this shit is complicated, and I'm currently extremely confused :/.

To give a little bit of background, I was bullied for a long time as a kid. I was pretty fat until high school so yeah that sucked, but I've made peace with that. Because of all the bullying I tended to hang out with girls more than guys because girls tended to pick on me less. Plus I had trust issues with men due to an abusive father, but that's a whole nother story I won't delve into. I always had guy friends too, I just preferred to hang out with girls. I eventually got over this in middle school and started to make guy friends and the bullying stopped because I had "grown into my body" so to speak.

Then in high school, the bullying turned into people accusing me of gay (mostly bitchy girls) because I never had a girlfriend and was friends with a lot of girls as well as guys. As a kid with already pretty damaged self esteem, that was pretty shitty. The thing is though, I have always known I always like girls. Always gone after girls, never felt the need to fake anything because I have a very accepting and loving family. But at the same time, in high school I started not only noticing girls but guys as well.

It was always just a physical thing, I never once had a crush on any guy all throughout high school. I played football so I started noticing other guys' bodies and realized I was just as turned on by them as I was by girls. But then add in people calling you gay for years and a lack of a relationship, I started to think "well I don't think I'm gay, but if everyone says I am it must be true". Which is dumb I know.

Now fast forward to college where I'm almost 20 and I've still not been able to find a girlfriend (not from lack of trying) and am still a virgin. I've hooked up and done other stuff with girls, but alas haven't had sex. Once I got to college and the bullying stopped, I still had the physical attractions for both genders, but just thought the male side of it was something I would never pursue.

Well over the summer I made friends with this guy through work that I was almost 100% sure he was either bisexual or gay, and he would flirt with me all the time at work. He wasn't like some super ripped model or anything, but he was an good looking guy and I started to develop feelings as the summer went on. Fast forward a month or so and we're both drunk and I confront him about it and ask him if he flirts with me. Tells me he does that with everyone, and some things kinda got lost in translation as I attempted to cipher out what exactly we "were".

We end up making out, I tell him I don't wanna have sex because I just wasn't ready for that with a guy mentally and I didn't think I would like it anyways (i've watched gay porn and I don't want to offend anyone but it looks like it hurts). So we end up just making out and giving each other head. It was fun and I really liked it. We didn't cuddle after or anything cute like that.

I wake up the next morning just superrrr confused. I had fun, but I realized I actually had a crush on a guy for the first time ever. Didn't know how he felt about me, went through a really weird limbo with him and it felt really awkward to me at work. Eventually find out we were cool, but didn't like me like that. So apparently it was just a friends with benefits thing.

Again sorry that this is long, it's just fucking...yeah confusing. Anyways now I'm just sooooo confused. I don't know what to call myself, I'm not even sure if I can call myself bisexual since I've never had sex with either gender. I still really like this guy, and I'm having a hard time getting over him even though I'm back at college. He's made it clear he doesn't like me like that, so add the fact that I felt like I got screwed on top of being sexually confused, and yeah I just have no clue what to make of my life right now. I'm trying to snap myself out of it but I think about it all the time and am being super spacey and my friends and family are starting to notice.

I don't really feel like I have anyone to talk to about it either, all of my guy friends are pretty homophobic and I don't trust any girl friends I have to keep their mouth shut while I figure out what I am. The bullying piece wasn't necessarily part of this experience, but it was kind of the start of my sexual identity issues. So yeah any advice would be awesome thank you if you read this whole thing.

PS Hormones fucking suck