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Need a like mind to talk to...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Maldoone, Apr 9, 2018.

  1. Maldoone

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    Hi,

    I'm a late comer to this party, having kept it hidden, even from myself for decades. That makes me sound really old. Anyway, out to my wife and a couple of friends, all of whom are doing their level best to forget they ever heard me. So, no-one of like mind to talk to, share a few jokes. Don't want to moan; I've got over that bit now!?
    Anyone want to shoot the breeze?
     
  2. Ascendant

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    It's nice to see you here, regardless of your age of discovery.
     
  3. Maldoone

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    Thx. Don't feel great age. Gym music choices guided by 17 & 15 yo boys. (mine own). Experience is good, silver shows some maturity Hey ho.
     
  4. 21zephyr

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    I’m a late to the gay ballgame, too. This site has been a great place to share stories or to get support from friendly people. Just know there are people out there for us... people that will love and support us... I’m out 6 months but haven’t met another gay person. I’m not giving up hope! I look every day and realize I need to widen my net. I’m going to attend a few Pride events this summer and hit a few gay bars next month. Everyone on this site has been so supportive and they make me feel like I have a future... you do too!!!
     
  5. Maldoone

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  6. Maldoone

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    Hi zephyr, thanks for your reply. I'd love to hear how you get on. I can't come Out to Play that easily in my locale. In fact there's nothing here in rurality! But, I mean to visit avenue or two if I get away on biz or other mission. Can't quite picture me sitting at a gay bar wondering if someone will sidle up, or if they're wondering what's he doing here - missed the train a few years back?!
     
  7. Biguy45

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    I’m late as well, but I’m not out. And may never be, but I did kind of repress it for a long time feels good not to lie to myself
     
  8. 21zephyr

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    I’m scared to death to go to a gay bar or to Pride, but I’m forcing myself to do it because I know I want to meet some people! I live about 4 hours from a gay bar, so it’s going to be a long trip just to get there. Once I’m there I may or may not meet someone, but I finally convinced myself I have to try. I have spent too many years without being who I really am, this is something I want more than anything. I have vowed to keep trying because this site has given me a lot of hope and support. Believe me, I have thought about staying at home and resigning myself to being alone, but I just can’t do that any more. I don’t want to sound desperate, I’m just motivated to find someone with some similar interests. Just getting started is my biggest hurdle, but I know I can do it. Hope there is someone out there dumb enough to want to be with me.
     
  9. Maldoone

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    That's fantastic, zephyr. Now I want to know how it goes! I'm not so far from a gay bar, but chances of bumping into someone I know keep me away. (That's going in/coming out of the bar). Anyone I may know in there - well.
    Odd feelings, sometimes I want to just go; like you, after all these years it's time to follow the only heart I've been given. I'll get there. Or I'll get somewhere.
     
  10. Maldoone

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    Feel the same way. I came out to my wife of 25+ years, and some friends at a party. After all the years of 'acceptance' of the gay universe, their reaction was unexpected. Bordering on Homophobia. I guess it's alright when it's not so close, and you can view it from afar. I have close family that came out 30 years ago.
    Like you, I don't know if I'll ever be all the way out, but right now I'm pretty keen to talk to others, and thanks to EC, I've got a start.
    There's a great line in Call Me by Your Name about being given only one body and one heart - and not to ignore them.
    Sometimes I just want to throw it all away, start again, before I go out of my mind. But then, I'm a man - not jumping until I have somewhere to go! If I ever do...
     
  11. Biguy45

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    I’m sure I would get the same reaction. I’ve decided that as long as I’m not going to act on it, I’ll just stay in the closet. I guess that’s why I come here, to talk to people going through similar things
     
  12. PlantSoul

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    My fiancé and I dealt with the two-faceness from I relative I trusted. Pissed beyond belief at what that woman did. I'm younger than you. Though, my fiancé may be around your age. Sorry you had to go through all that. It really puts a person's real character in the limelight.

     
  13. Maldoone

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    Thanks. It feels so much better to talk. It's a non-subject round here. Elephants in the room and all that. Ho hum. Lol. Not.
     
  14. PlantSoul

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    I just had to cut off two other relatives last night. I've cut off four other people, two relatives, already this year. People have been showing their true colors and a lot of it has been downright scary. If they get upset that you've cut them off and suddenly "try" to make amends don't fall for it! One, a male, plotted to kill me because I was in love with someone else, my now fiancé. This male was very abusive, tried to trick me into sex, and threatened to take me away from my fiancé. He also got very irate when he found out I didn't like men. He stalked me too.

    Two of my aunts invaded my fiancé and I's privacy. Threatened to come up here for a visit to make me agree to take them back into my life. This would've utterly destroyed my relationship with my mother and possibly a good portion of my other relatives, which they damn well knew. One of them went behind my back and threatened my fiancé to break up with me. Because of race, age, and her being of the same sex. Pure evil. Four of them came from my father's family. I'm no longer keen to know them. One of them, my grandmother, I was trying to know, now I'll keep her at arm's length too.

    If you'd like to, you can message me. There's also a subforum on here for people who came out late in life.
     
    #14 PlantSoul, Apr 12, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
  15. Maldoone

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    Hell's Bells. My troubles come no where near your experience I've really got nothing to complain about. I'm just moaning as I'm trapped. Maybe. Certainly for a while. Too many people to hurt, and, frankly, no other options right now. Which makes me a bit of a sh** I suppose. Carrying on, knowing, or at least feeling, that I'll jump one day. More than 50%, I'd say.
    Just finding my way around the site, and will use a bigger screen later. Does your following me make messenger possible now? I saw the subforum. Again, when alone, I can dig deeper. Till later...