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NB or confused?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by starmotive, Jan 11, 2021.

  1. starmotive

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    Hey y'all,
    I came out as gay(lesbian) 4? years ago. But the last few months I've been watching a lot of coming out videos again and I'm not sure why. I talked to my therapist about it and she had asked if maybe I have another coming out to do...
    I've never thought about being nb, but I've never been super girly and have always been super self-concious of my chest. More so the size, than actually having boobs though.
    The other day my dad made a comment on how nb people were ridiculous for wanting 'they/them' pronouns etc etc. Basically being a narrow minded person. His homophobic-ness has always bothered me, in terms of comments on gay people, but for some reason his comment about nb people really got to me.
    Could I be nb or am I just having a hard time being comfortable with myself?
    It'd be appreciated if y'all wanted to share your coming to terms with being nb stories!
    Thanks
     
  2. sweetfemme90

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    I never really understood the whole nonbinary thing. I guess based off what little you revealed is that you are self-conscious of your chest because of size. Having a larger chest can attract unwanted attention. I do think that women are taught their bodies are a liability and that having it can be a danger. So it doesn't surprise me women don't like something that gives them unwanted attention and can inspire someone to harm them. I honestly think when we hit puberty a lot of us start to disassociate with our bodies, especially lesbians. We are fetishized, most of us don't use the word lesbian because its become a category of pornography which doesn't match our experience or feelings. We tend to adopt other language including what used to be considered slurs because its better than being fetishized by men.
    But that is just my take. I would need more information from you to answer your question on being nonbinary or simply uncomfortable with your body.
     
  3. starmotive

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    Hey, thanks for the reply! I'd be open to answer any questions if it'd help you figure this out lol. I've always had a larger chest since the second grade (8 years old), but at the same time I wish my style was somewhat like Amber Liu... I could never pull it off, but whether that's a physical barrier, who knows
     
  4. sweetfemme90

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    Well I do think that wanting to change your style is cool. I did a quick google search of this Amber Liu and her style is great. I can understand how you may think you cannot be this way with a larger chest. I don't think that wishing you had a different body type- particularly one of a celebrity makes you nonbinary. Anyways if you want to talk more send me a message, would love to chat.
     
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  5. solarcat

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    I'm AMAB, and about 8 years ago I started to realize that masculinity and he/him pronouns really don't fit me. So after a lot of various issues I started transitioning to female about a year ago, but honestly never really felt like it was right to call myself a "woman".

    Now I see myself as nonbinary, and it feels like it fits. But even before that I'd always been interested in androgynous and nonbinary people, so maybe there was always this feeling of "I wish that was me".

    If you find yourself interested in nonbinary people like that, there may be a subconscious recognition of yourself in them.
     
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