I'm 17, AFAB, and have been questioning my gender for three years. And it's really fucking wearing me down. It is a constant stress on my mind all the time. I don't like my body but I don't know what I want instead. My body feels too "reproductive" for me, if that makes sense. There's a guy I'm interested in but I'm afraid of getting in a relationship with him because I'm scared of being seen as 'the woman' in the relationship. I want to be able to have sex with a guy but the thought scares me because I'm afraid of being submissive, and it feels like my body just makes me automatically submissive, even though that isn't the case. I feel slightly jealous of my crush but I can't tell if that's just because I'm interested in him - most of the times that I have been jealous of a guy, I've been attracted to them. The other times have been successful male role models (It's worth mentioning that most, if not all, of my role models have been male) I don't want kids. I don't want boobs (but am not sure I'd want a totally flat chest). I don't like being grouped in with the half of humanity that is typically seen as submissive, motherly, feminine. I just feel like my body is totally useless. I want to be tall and strong, dominant. (And if I'm in a relationship with a guy, the contrast makes me feel emasculated for lack of a better word) My mind is just a mess and this makes me feel like crying. I don't fucking know what I want or who I am, all I know is that I'm not comfortable with myself. I don't think living as a man, or at least 100% man would feel comfortable to me. Oftentimes when strangers call me 'sir' or 'mate', it makes me a bit uncomfortable, like they're seeing someone I'm not. I'm pretty sure that there's at least some female to me. I am guy-ish, but I don't think I feel like a guy. However, if I could've chosen my sex at birth, I might've chosen male. Sorry this post is chaotic. I'm just fucking sick of this stress and discomfort and I don't know what to do. Yes, I've spoken to my psychologist about this, I even had an assessment with a gender therapist (who felt I didn't fit the criteria for gender dysphoria), and I'm still just lost. Any opinions or advice on how to cope is greatly appreciated. Thank you.