Okay so first Mother says she see and tell stuff flatout how they are. But the thing is she amlost never ask how I feel about it or ask for my opinion, even as an adult. She often tend to get irritated if fx. don´t sneeze like she does and that is the tamest(?) stuff she get´s annoyed at even til today me being in my mid 20. I know she grow up with a sternly woman instead of her biological mother. When I asked her if she think she did use the same parenting she experiencet in my childhood she says no. But I am pretty much sure she unconsciously does when I think about her stories about how she grew up. She don´t recognize that she grew up with verbal abuse and she is a parent who carried on this upbringing. Whenever I tell her about verbal bullying and emotional abuse she claimed she have never done that to me. And whenever I say she does the same thing on me that happened to her she says she don´t understand it. Do you people think I really need to show her a therapist or psycologist report about me to make her see this? Or does it seem to be a lost case because there is a posibilty she is narcissist or maybe is autistic? I have taking time reading&watching about those 2 types so it´s not somethin I just trow out for no reason.
My dad behaves the same way and my mother and I have also discussed could he be autistic. You can’t change her behavior unless she realizes there’s something wrong with it and she probably never will. Try to ignore the mean things and take care of yourself.
And it´s verry ironic that she tells me another adult familymember is possible autistic. Besides I really wonder why she can be nice, caring and considerate to other children then and now. Can I ask how you father treats other children? I already do as another new year goes by whitout talking to her face to face.
So nobody can aswer my questions? Was depressed again because of her in the period since I last logged in. I know I´m not the only one with a ´diffucult` parent but it don´t help me much or change the problem at hand(?).
I saw your latest comment and wanted to share some stuff, if it helps. I have an autistic twin, who my family has to support and help but we are trying to teach her some things that she is not quite grasping. She acts just like you or me, she just thinks a little differently. Tonight, she was trying to get my father upset or something (it is an issue I cannot very well explain) and my dad just had to ignore her, because she was trying to talk to him about stuff she should not talk about for attention. We just have to stop her and not let her talk about such things. We try not to engage with her, because that is what she wants,until she calms down. My friend from overseas has a very troubled mother. He has only spoken to me a few times about her, but once he was very specific about her. It was her birthday and he was texting me "it is the worst day ever please keep me distracted" because it seems that his mother speaks of unhealthy things, too. He has told me that she is nice, but gets easily annoyed by things I think he stays out of her way and does what she says needs to be done. It may be out of fear, I do the same with my twin, but it may be for the best. I pitied the fact that you are not getting the help you need, but maybe look at different options. Maybe talk to someone about your issues (a professional) and take their answers to your mother. I shared some things with you to try to relate, i am not sure they will help, but I tried. I wish the best for you.
I did not mean to add those videos, my copy and paste was being weird, I meant to paste a heart for you instead. The videos are not related to what I was talking about to you. ♡ <--- there it is
This don´t sound familiar when I try to picture Mother in this situation. Did you get it the 1 time you read my posting that she most of the time only sees her meaning as right? Or was my writting unclear in some ways? Writting in english is difficukt when I have dyslexia. A bit curious what you mean by unhealty things and the part "she is nice"? By "stays out of her way" do you/he mean backing down? I act the way I want instead of how she wants me to act (the gender part) since I was a teen. Don´t be I´m used to being overlooked online and RL and I was more looking for advise and opions from other. Will take time to find a professional because somebody with narcissist knowledge don´t automatically have autistic knowledge. Was confused for a moment. A bit late for my reply but thank you for the heart and your responds.
