I haven't come out yet, but I've been telling my mom most of my feelings now instead of attempting to hide them. But she's not understanding, she thinks I'm joking and maybe a little uncomfortable about my sexuality. But that's it, I've in a way directly told her that I hate my male parts and wished they didn't exist. I'm hoping that I can get her to try to get me a appointment with a gender therapist so that maybe I can get put on HRT.
Once you mention "transgender," she'll probably get serious. That's how mine was, anyways. I'm not sure how you will be able to get a gender therapist without her suspectig you're trans, or you coming out. If there were a way for me to do that, I would have in an instant. Good luck!
I'm so shit at breaking the ice with my gender. I've only told them that I haven't been totally honest about stuff, and they haven't bothered prying. I take that as a good sign, since it likely means they're ready to let me take my time before I can be absolutely honest with them.
I am a parent, but my kids are 39 and 34. However, I can't honestly say how I would have reacted to this kind of situation 25-30 years ago. I knew just a small fraction of what I know now regarding sexuality and gender identity. Clearly the situation has a fair amount of complication built in. Couple that with our traditional binary ways of looking at things and it becomes a not so good intersection very quickly. Anyway, Good Luck!
Here are some resources: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156085-i-just-im-kind-scared.html#4 (*hug*)
My parents know but remain willfully oblivious. I'm here for Christmas. But I cannot live a lie like this. Sick of it. I'm not seen for me.
Maybe showing your mom some pamphlets or trans documentaries can help bring up a conversation. Barbra Walters did a 20/20 documentary on young trans people and the National Geographic's series Taboo did an episode on the gender spectrum.