My mom recently said that she wants to start her own church. I’ve been pretty much flying under the radar for a while when it comes to interacting with Christians for a while now, but that would entirely change if I suddenly became a pastor’s kid. I’ve been avoiding coming out to my family as trans at the very least until I can be financially independent, but I won’t be able to keep it in anymore if my mother starts her own church. That’s a lie I don’t think I’d be able to pull off. What is a non-confrontational way to go about coming out as it coincides with my mom potentially starting a church? I don’t want her to start making plans only for me to come out and have it seem like I’m doing it just so that she won’t do something she’s passionate about, but I simply couldn’t live with becoming a possible anecdote in a sermon with people under the impression that I’m some perfect cishet pastor’s daughter.
It seems rather a coincidence to me your mother is starting a church while your struggling with coming out to her. I don't know your mother's religious beliefs or how she would react to coming if you don't mind giving more details however maybe you coming out can possibly change your mothers religious perspective and have a church welcoming to LGBT people. There is nothing wrong with you and God does not hate you for who you are. LGBT people don't choose to be that way and if you are in a safe position to do so i would come out to your mother before she starts a church. If not is never too late to open her heart and mind and see if change can be made.
Well I suppose a lot will depend on the theology of the church your mother wishes to establish. Across the United States there are thousands and thousands of churches that preach the same evangelical, conservative message and it really surprises me there is room for them all. Based on what you know about your mom and her religious beliefs, is it likely she will seek to establish yet another one of 'those churches', or will she try to occupy more liberal and rational ground where there is room for growth and hope? Maybe ask your mom what she is hoping to do different? What does she think she can offer that isn't already available elsewhere? What sort of message would she have for minority groups? Christianity isn't opposed to LGBT people (or it doesn't have to be). Is your mom hoping to demonstrate that, or is it simply her intention to outdo all of the other evangelical conservatives that drag Christianity into the gutter?
