My mom wants to show me a video of someone making fun of a lesbian who came out

I don't understand how a person can think "yeah male/female homosexuality exist, but the other gender can't possibly be gay!"
How does that even work?
Thinking neither exist is also quite strange, but at least it's understandable to a degree, but this just defies all logic.

 

My first thought is: straight men eat pussy too! And gay men and straight woman get a penis near their throats!

Even if a person is disgusted by an specific sexual act, that doesnt mean you can judge the entire orientation based in that sexual act. In the case of your mom she must think straight men are disgusting to if they eat pussy. Also disgust is not a reason to say something is wrong, i find eating uncooked tomato disgusting, that doesnt mean is wrong or evil( well yes eating tomato like that is evil :lol: )

 

I think it may have something to do with how they can (and can't) relate to gays. Your mom might understand gay guys in that they like men as does she. The same also could be true for your dad who likes women and therefore can understand why lesbians might like women too.

Wishing you luck! I find that knowing that my parents are quite homophobic, religiously motivated, quite hard and it sadly hurts my relationship with them and my ability to trust and like them. I hope things will improve for you, both in your own living circumstances and in your relationship with your parents.

 

From this and previous posts: Your mom is a bitch. Nuff said.

---------- Post added 30th Aug 2014 at 09:54 AM ----------

Probably. So, your mom can relate to gay men, because she also finds men attractive, but not to lesbians as she doesn't find women attractive.

 

so i guess your dad never took her to paradise orally, some one needs to explain things to your dad i figure.



so she has no problem with gay men? doesn't her church come into play on that? or am i missing something. the other thing is i figure that she has the other objectives with this conversation and it's aimed at you to make it about you because your not a gay man, your a beautiful gay woman.

 

Wow, it sounds like your mom has just a ton of issues about sex, generally. I hope you can find a way out of there, cause it seems like a toxic environment for you.

Although, from the way you stood up with your church, I can tell you are one tough cookie.

 

She probably has suspicions about you or maybe even herself and is in the most fucked up way possible being rudely defensive. People are ok with all sorts of things unless it's in their own backyard. My parents were really nice to other gay people, my brother's god parents are a gay couple, some of my moms best friends are lesbians but when I came out to her when I was 11 or so she told me I didn't know what I was talking about and that she hoped it wasn't true because she'd be scared for me. And then any time she caught me flirting with girls while I was a teenager she always had a snide comment. My dad always made leabo phobic jokes about women being to fat to get men so they'd be lesbians and shit. It was weird, man. And now here I am almost 30 and in the closet because I was afraid everyone would think I was too ugly to get boyfriends and felt too feminine to possibly be one of "those lesbians."

They knew I think... It's just weird fucked up defensiveness. If only they knew how much of it I internalized in my teens and adult life. Keep strong and keep on refusing. She'll hopefully get a clue.

 

:eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

You're awesome!

 

Some light reading on the subject that might be helpful (ok I was being sardonic, but at some stage we have to confront stuff like this, however unpleasant):

 

Tell your clearly confused mother that you dont need to have sex to be a lesbian, Exactly the same way that gay men dont need to have sex to be gay or a hetero couple dont need sex to be hetero. If you do need sex to have a sexuality then Im very confused what children are?

 

Actually, didn't mothers used to tell their daughters something similar about men on their wedding night? That their husbands would want to do "disgusting things" but they had to put up with it?

But on a serious note ... I'm so sorry ... that whole conversation from your mom was just so inappropriate on so many levels. Parents who treat their children that way deserve neither their love nor respect (they may get it anyway, but they don't deserve it.)

I'm afraid the best way to deal with toxic people is to stay as far from them as possible. I know it seems difficult, but you'll feel a lot better if you get away, and you'd be surprised at how much a relationship can improve with distance.

 

Hi,

I know you are speaking in support of being lesbian (which all of us here support), just felt that if this were turned around - if someone spoke about women, in the way you just spoke about men here - that it would have been commented on, but when guys are generalized about like this, it's kind of ignored. There are lots of nice guys around as well. I've always been kind and respectful towards women, still am, and I know I'm not alone. And not all straight guys are 'arsholes', either. There are good and bad individuals amongst both men, and women.

Why do I mention this? Not to start a childish 'us vs them' tussle, but just to point out that I find such generalization a little bit saddening. I'm a guy, I've actually been hurt by a few women quite significantly in my life, yet I've generally treated women with kindness and respect. A few times, looking back, I was a bit of a cad, but that had more to do with emotional immaturity and my own pain, than with any kind of misogyny.

Damien.

 

"Not all men"


She didn't say all men, she said "lots of men" and was clearly making the point that being straight doesn't protect you from bad relationships. Not everything is about men. It's ok for women to have conversations about their experiences sometimes.

 

Did you fail to read that I never said ''all men'' Or are you getting defensive over something you most likely misinterpreted. I just can't understand how disturbingly ignorant stockings mother is.. Not all girls like what she likes. No offence Damien but I suggest putting your defenses down and take the time to re-read what I wrote.

I want to add.. I read your reply to me Stocking and you definitely should try find that skype. I know it's risky and you could get in loads of trouble if I add her but I will give her the best damn speech of her life. Does she forget that gay men AND gay women commit suicide every year because of their orientation? I guess she doesn't care about the girls huh? What if one of those girls was you stocking and she was too late to stop you from doing it. What if it was HER daughter.

I personally love women.. but when I come across women like her (which is NOT often) I CERTAINLY question my attraction. But hey.. I can't fight the way ''god'' created me honey.

 

I've met women who are fine with homosexual men but get angry with the idea of homosexual women. Such things are prominent with men but also exists with women.

A shame this stuff happens.

 

I know you didn't mean all men. I was referring not so much to your comment in particular, and yes I'm aware that you meant it in a particular context: in the sense that, being with a guy per se is not necessarily better than being with a girl, which I naturally agree with. It's just that, there is a common perception - I know you were not implying this - that guys tend to have more negative qualities in general, than girls, I have actually seen this elsewhere, and it was that notion I was responding to, rather than your post in particular. Lots of men are assholes, yes; so are lots of women, in fact lots of human beings in general are. That's all I was trying too say. I suspect we've all been treated like dirt by the opposite sex at some time or other.

 

Stocking, every time I think your mom can't surprise me anymore... well, she does! :eek:

 

I'm sorry, stocking, your mom doesn't make any sense and you don't deserve to be subjected to all of her toxic nonsense. I hope and pray she never finds all the stuff you've written on here and you can get far away from her somehow. Please know you're a good person who deserves to be happy.(*hug*)