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My mom hates my friend and wants me to stop being friends with her .

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by stocking, Jan 4, 2014.

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  1. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I have a female friend that i'm very close with and we are very close that i sleep over at her house sometimes , my friend knows i like women but she still accepts me and we are very close but she's more like a mother figure to me and she is married with a husband . My dad thought that me and friend were sleeping together because she keeps calling the house for me and because I sleep over at her house from time to time . My mom keeps saying i don't like her ditch her and she finds ways to try to get me to end a friendship with her . But i like my friend and me and her have a lot in common we both grew up in abusive house holds and we both like the same things . she is there for me when i need her emotionally and i am the same for her and i really hate that my mom hates my friend so much . I also have another female friend as well that my mom does not like and she has also tried to get me to stop being friends with her it seems like every time i have a close female friend my mom wants me to get rid of them and finds excuses that we should break the friendship . She has mad fun of me in the past for not having friends mostly female friends and said that i'm a loser but as soon as a girl starts calling our house to speak with me she makes it a mission to try to get me to stop being friends with that girl .
    why does my mom keep doing this :help:
     
    #1 stocking, Jan 4, 2014
  2. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Could be lots of reasons, either individually or in combo. Based on what you've written here, the thoughts that come to mind are...your mother...

    A) is not supportive of your orientation and thinks that you are having sex (or intend to have sex) with any girl you make friends with. This is a common misconception among straight people.

    B) is the abuser in your household that you mention. Abusers routinely try to isolate their victims and stop them from forming relationships (of ant kind) with others for various reasons.

    C) is not the abuser in your household, but is either 'aiding and abetting' it or choosing to look the other way while it happens, or is a fellow victim along with yourself (again, this is not uncommon in abusive households). She is afraid that you will tell your friends about your situation, resulting in massive disruption to the current situation. She may not want that for various reasons.

    D) while the abusive situation you mention is no longer an issue (for whatever reason) and your current family situation is fine in this regard, she may be afraid you will talk to your friends about the past, which she would find embarrassing or worse.

    Obviously, I don't know the details of your specific situation, and there are probably several other possibilities, but just going on what you've said so far. Do any of the above seem like they might ring a bell?

    Hope this helps,

    Todd
     
    #2 AKTodd, Jan 5, 2014
  3. myownuniverse

    myownuniverse
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    My mom doesn't know that I am bi or les (not sure yet) but that doesn't stop her to tell me who I should hang out with.
    I hate that and i never listen to her when it comes to my friendship, it is not her business, I am an adult and she know that she can tell me whatever she want about my friends I will never listen to her.
    This is your private life even if she is your mother, she don't have to tell you what to do anymore.

    I know this is hard though... Do you have a cell phone? Maybe your friend can reach you through it so the call doesn't get at your house. Maybe with internet to it's easy to talk with someone on facebook now.

    Anyway, maybe tell your mother that you are not currently in a relationship even if it's so not her business once again.

    I hope it calms down a bit soon.
     
    #3 myownuniverse, Jan 5, 2014
  4. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I relate with B my mom doesn't know i'm lesbian
     
    #4 stocking, Jan 5, 2014
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