I have a problem, and I know the answer to it, but I can't act on that answer. (My apologies but I am just going to type this out fast and not worry about how it looks or spelling and such.) I hate where my life is at, but I have nothing to really complain about. I am a young guy in university, and I have a consistent job, I have really good grades, I have friends, and I live in a very very nice place, especially for a university kid. If my life was better or worse I feel I could solve this. But I hate what I do, I hate the thought of going to school, of going to work, of living in this mansion'esk house. I do the same thing all the time and I want to change it and I know if I change it I will be happier but I can't change anything, because that would be stupid. I can't go to parties because i work or have classes or am too afraid to drive. I will be getting my biology degree, but 2 weeks after finals I will be doing 2 year continuous courses until 2016 to get a second degree (no breaks), because I learned to hate being a biologist. I know the answer is just "why not take a year off university and live life" but then I feel I am a year behind everyone and I couldn't imagine what I could do for a year. I just want to drop everything and travel around the world and volunteer in countries, but then I think: well what would I do then after I finish? I have no useable degree, no good job, nothing. The little things in life I always find reasons not to do them, mainly money reasons even though I never spend any money and have worked since I was 14. HOW DO I ACT ON THINGS IN LIFE!? HOW DO I ****ing LIVE!!!?? I have gone into deep depressions for weeks where I can't do anything but be alone in my room because of how much I hate my life, only being brought out of it by my friends and my life responsibilities, I refuse to see a counsellor, because I do not think anything they say can help me, since I myself cannot even help me; but when there is an idea or an option I find a way to not do it. I am ****ing broken, I don't deserve what I have and I am a pointless creation.
Then take a year off an travel so what you're not behind everyone needs a time out for a while u should take a year off so what if u graduate til a couple more years just travel the world.
Firstly, you aren't pointless, you need to give yourself a break. I know you've said you don't want to see a counsellor, but I say try it. If nothing they say helps, then fine. But if there is a chance that they can help you, you might as well take it, right? Otherwise.. I'd say, finish this degree if you feel like you can. Then you know you have something to fall back on as a safety net. After it's done, then put off the other things and go do what you want to do. If you're already on the next course, will they let you defer for a year? You won't be years behind anyone, everyone lives life at their own pace, so don't compare yourself so much. Like you say, you want to live YOUR life. You know in some countries, like South Korea, you can teach English with just your uni degree. They'll pay for accommodation and everything, and the pay is good! There are so many ways to get out there for very little money. Just take a deep breath and take a first step. Hope something here helped
I took more then one year off before I got my BS, and you know what I don't regret it at all. So I'm a year or two behind my peers - so what. I have so many more life experiences then them - and in the long run they are worth far more. Heck, I'm going to be leaving my job to start a PhD program and I'll be 28 when I start, probably wont finish until I'm in my early 30's. How do you judge how far you are behind your peers? There's more to life then just a career and how many years you have been working in it. During my PhD work I'll likely be spending weeks on a boat in the open seas, I hope to make a stay in Antarctica. When you're at the end of your life, looking back on it - think about how you would like to see it. Working some job, having a routine day in day out. Or having some adventures along the way? I know what I would choose.
So much control. That's what it boils down to. We fear so much not knowing what the next day will bring, yet our most profound memories are when things are out of control, whether falling into or out of love, whether getting hired or fired, or stranded in the middle of nowhere and meeting people you would never have normally met. Instead of university I became a draftsman, but only to earn enough money to travel. I did and I don't regret a minute. I only started university at 25. Didn't make a difference, the idea that people have careers is a 20th century concept... Let this be your mantra: It's the man with few memories who finds his life short.
I wan these memories and life experiences, that is very true. I will only be getting a 3 year Bio degree since I found out during the summer that there was no way I would want to spend my life in the lab. I have looked into teaching English in Japan since my first year of university, and it is something that I very much want to do, to travel like that. However that requires a 4 year degree, which I would not have until I finish my accelerated second degree. I am not aware of places where you can teach with only a 3 year degree. I just don't know how to 'stop' doing these things because I feel I have no backup, but at the same time I don't know how much longer I can live my life this way. The answers are so simple but why can't I realize them? ---------- Post added 2nd Feb 2014 at 06:01 PM ---------- Also going to Antarctica for a period of time must be amazing. I am very jealous, and if I could see the long sunset they have once a year there, well, I think I would live my life with a little more of a smile.
I've worked in the far north, it's closer and the sunsets are just as long, lol! Have you ever considered learning a trade? I know, we are so geared to university, but look around you, the jobs just aren't what they used to be for college grads. I became an analytical chemist, but the thought of being "on the bench" forever made me sick. And I was good at it too, but it paid peanuts. Trades would include technical drawing (if you're gifted spacially, that can be useful), mechanics, electricians and plumbers also are in good demand. You would be amazed at the technical and intellectual challenges that are associated with these professions...why they aren't honoured like a college degree is a mystery to me. Most of what passes for "knowledge work" is vulnerable to outsourcing, this includes everything from statistics to the legal profession (all of the work that these people do can be done online by someone somewhere on a different continent, in real time, at far less cost). Sometimes you just need to stop what you're doing, or at least wind it up at the end of the semester and start looking at other options; you're young, so now's the time to take on the world, try on new identities and see what fits. For too many people, going to college is just following a script that's been laid out for you...
I have considered trades out of desperation, also the Old Order Mennonites (everyone thinks I say it as a joke), but I feel I am too far down university now to go into one and still be able to look at myself in the mirror. University was never a choice for me, I want to make that clear, in fact I have had panic attacks all throughout childhood at the thought of going to it, I remember those very clearly, I have always worried, but I had to go, it wasn't an option. The second degree I will be getting will allow me to make much more than a biologist with a PhD would, and get a job almost anywhere around the world. I could also further specialize in it and almost if not make the amount a doctor would. I am not sure what can convince me to get out of it. I sound like a broken record. What about the little things in life, how can you convince yourself to do those, for example to drive for 15 minutes and like spend $10 to go to a movie?
I like the idea of a Sunday afternoon drive to nowhere in particular...and see what happens... To quote G.K. Chesterton: An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
Perhaps you very much need a why before you get a how...but maybe a why isn't necessary.... Get in the car with a few directions in mind, then flip a coin. Set your maximum distance back and forth, carry a little cash for those unexpected things...and go for it! Alternatively, pay a visit to the Mennonites, you never know what could happen... Drive carefully, bring a blanket and some food, just in case...remember what I said above, being a little out of control, bearing a little uncertainty is good for the soul. Your senses become just a little sharper, you are open to possibilities...
