My 9 year old son told me he was Gay last night

I was about 4 when I realized that there was something different about me. I didn't understand exactly what it was, but it was definitely real. A few years later I started to have crushes on boys, and by age 9 I knew that I was gay. Still, I didn't accept it until years later.

Good for you for being so accepting! I think you must be doing an awesome job as a parent already because he knows he can be open with you. Your boy (if he is gay) will be spared much of the shame and scarring that's still all too common.

However, that being said, I would give it some time. He may be gay, or not, and this could be an early indication. I would stay attuned and possibly ask him in a year or two. Although I knew earlier than 9, I would not assume that a 9 year-old knows.

Again, great job!

Patrick
Seattle, WA

 

I know a lot of people already replied, but Ive personally known I was "different" since I was 2 or 3. I just didn't know the term "pansexual" or even "straight" and "gay" so you just keep supporting him and remember as he learns more about it his identity preference may shift.

 

It's been a LONG time since I was 9 years old, and times were different then. I don't think I really knew I was gay until I was perhaps 11 or 12 (certainly by 13). But I recall beginning grade 5 (so age 10 or thereabouts?), which was the first year that boys in those days were given the option to shower together after gym. Unlike some of my friends, I remember looking forward to it with eager anticipation. And I vividly recall an incident when I was five, when I was sternly rebuked by my mother for staring at my father and his friend as they were changing out of their bathing suits. So yes, I think it entirely possible that in this day and age, your nine-year-old has a decent grasp of his own sexuality. Kudos to you for being so supportive!

 

I knew I was different very early about 4 or 5. I would watch Masters of the Universe every day so I could look at He-man. I had no Idea what sex or gay was, but I knew I liked to look at He-man (the movie). I also would watch a movie in the 80's where a girl named Millie transitioned to male and thought he was cute too. I forget the name of that movie if anyone knows what movie that was please PM me! I want to watch it with adult eyes and mind. It was only after I voiced my approval of He-Man's physique that I found out (the hard way) what gay was. My parents were not happy and I was physically punished and threatened. I am so happy that you are loving and supportive of your son. If a time machine is invented I will pay you to go back to the early 1980's to teach my parents how to be

 

My initial reaction when I saw the title to this thread was “Whoa, 9? That’s so young. I only found out that gay people existed at 8 years old, and 9-year-old me would’ve had an absolute meltdown at the thought of being gay”.

But everyone’s different, I had a friend who hit puberty at 8, but it was more like 11 for me. Chances are though, at that age the most that will go on is hand holding and “spreading cooties” or whatever. It’s good that he holds a positive view of gay people though, I wish I’d had that. It would’ve saved me a whole lot of internal conflict and self-hatred that I had to sort through. I somewhat envy people who were always accepting of their orientation, because even now I have times where I wish I was straight.

I guess all you can do is see what happens, as his interests might develop differently when he hits puberty (if he hasn’t already). You seem supportive and competent, so that’s good. I think the people above me have pretty much covered what I wanted to say, so yeah… best of luck.

You could always post here in the future, when you see fit. I should probably leave this thread now and let more competent people answer.