First the back ground Well I had a huge thing written but my computer shut down so here is the background then the questions. I am 19 almost 20, live in Utah and I have been in a stable relationship for a year and 3 months. She full heartidly supports my transition and actually endorses it. I have not even seen a therapist or doctor of any kind regarding this. I am sure its what I want but as with everything I do have doubts. I am out to everyone but my bosses and some co-workers but everyone else knows I am feminine(in some aspects, I can explain later) and this is what my plans are. I have been through a lot with my family just as most people have and do not put myself on a level, I full heartidlly believe that everyone has their own issues and has the right to gripe about them. I believe I have tried to be overly masuline to hide my feminine qualities. I am 5'7" 180lbs. caucasian purple hair(I died it HAHA)normally blonde though, brown eyes and I have slightly femine features. Anything else you need to know just ask. to the point. 1. I am having a hard time learning to be feminine because I have tried hiding it all my life. Do you have any suggestions. 2. Money. I need to learn how I am going to finance the whole transition. Any suggestions. I had a lot of questions but like I said my computer shut off and it make me mad, when I think of more I will add them.
Learning how to be feminine is more like just learning to be yourself. It's about tearing down those walls that you took so much time to build up when you were growing up. For some, this is difficult and can take years. Don't concern yourself over what's feminine or what's masculine. Everyone is a combination of both. Just learn to be yourself and everything else will come with time, experience, and practice. Most insurance carriers will cover hormone therapy. Some will pay for the therapy sessions you will need to get hormones--you need three months of therapy. Still, you have to buy new clothes and maybe makeup, so it's still pretty expensive. Buying a whole new wardrobe isn't cheap. Also, get some friends to help you out. Clothes are expensive and you don't want to go blowing a lot of money on something that doesn't fit, isn't you, and doesn't look good. Again, transitioning is all about discovering yourself. Don't ever allow anyone else dictate who you are, what you should like, who you should like, or what you should wear. There are a lot of trans women out there that will try to pressure you into wearing makeup, wearing pink clothes, or even exclusively liking guys. Because to them, that's what they stake their femininity on. Learn to be confident. Learn to be yourself. Learn to say no and even fuck off. You already are a woman. You have nothing to prove to anyone.
I agree with everything Hot Pink has said. Being feminine is, as she said, just tearing down those walls that you've spent so long building up. I'm kind of coming recently from the same boat that you're in, minus the supportive significant other, and it took me a little while to figure that out. I used to worry that not every little thing I did came across as feminine, but one thing to remember is that nobody, cis or not, is 100% masculine and feminine. There's a fair amount of gender behavior crossover. It is, like she said, all about learning to be yourself. I can't speak a lot as to the whole financial aspect as I'm still in the therapy portion, been going for about a month and a half now. So far that's been covered by my insurance though so we're off to a good start there The wardrobe can definitely be costly, makeup, ect. There can be a lot of pressure from other Trans women though as to how you should dress, behave, and so on. It's important to remain true to yourself though. One of the most important things that's been said is that you have nothing to prove. You know who you are, and you know you're a woman. Express that and don't worry about what others might think.
Thank you, I see what your saying about finding yourself instead of trying to be something that I may not be 100% I appreciate the comments and if I wasnt in such a non-writing mood I would have a huge response.
Fuuu, I understand that. When I finally accepted myself, one of the secondary questions I asked myself (the first ones were concerning my future plans) was "How can I become more feminine? But, do I really need to become feminine?" I asked this myself, because not every woman you'll see is feminine at all. It sparked an internal debate concerning what I want and why I want it. I would not bother you with all the details, so I'll just go with the conclusion I came: I decided the only changes I'll do will be for my voice (as that cannot be changed by hormone therapy) and everything else will be just repeling the self censor urge. I mean, I identify with what you said "I have tried hiding it all my life" because I reached that conclusion: I was masculine because I tried to hide the feminine part all this time. So I'm just taking my time, slowly, reaaaaaally slowly, to let my real feminine side come out by itself. The only practical tip I can give is this: whenever you do-feel-think something that you inmediately feel the urge to supress, stop and don't let it supress that 'something'. For example: Through my life, I sometimes called myself in a female way; so I learned to supress that by correcting myself whenever I used the feminine way, and I reached the level when I could censor myself before saying it. Now that I accept myself, I don't try to use female speech on purpose, but whenever it comes out naturally (like before) I supress the urge to censor that female speech, and I let it go out like that. The same I applyed to other things, like the way I move (which is still more masculine, but with some feminine moves), the walk, and other aspects of life. I know this is no different of what's been said, though:icon_bigg(*hug*)(*hug*) [Off-topic: Woooow, I've reached 200 posts! That's double my previous record (I never stick to a forum too much)]
I agree with others. I always thought I acted and looked too masculine to pass. Just being on hormones and being accepted as a girl by others has really brought out a much more feminine aspect of myself, to the point where I feel confident that I can pass and I'm just over 2 months into HRT. I think the hormones themselves will go a long way towards not just changing your appearance to look more feminine, but also your emotions and personality to an extent. As others have said, insurance will often cover most of the costs. One thing to be aware of is that mine didn't cover blood work, so I owe 100 bucks for the right now. Honestly clothes are more of an issue than doctor visits or hormones in my opinion though. Luckily, I have awesome friends that have just given me free clothes because they are great like that =)
Yes I agree. Me and a coworker (female) reached a conclusion: women are comercialy overexploited. Eerything, since the most simple to the most basic are too expensive, just because is for women. In clothing, a mere t-shirt can cost one or 2 bucks more than the exact same t-shirt with a male design. Shampoos especially designed for women can cost double of those designed for men; and don't make me go over the shoes issue.
Well I would like to think I am well off on that aspect because I have a great paying job and have a wonderful girlfriend who my style kinda coincides with. We dress somewhat tomboyish but I am a little more feminine than her. I prefer to wear tight jeans or a cute skirt, I still like dressing comfy girly like with baggy shorts or something, its kind of hard to explain but we buy a lot of our clothes second hand because they are just as good as new. As for the financing part I am more looking at job situation. I have seen a ton of women go through the transition but not one says what they did for finances during the process. I have a job now and I think they are pretty open about this kind of thing but there is always that doubt about losing my job. How did they go through the transition and what did they do for finances. With my hair I know electrolysis is in the plans but I kind of would like to not spend as much money on that due to needing to save for procedures of course. I plan on sugaring and hoping the HRT will reduce the hair thickness and growth. Also I am going to need some form of head hair help. I have a pretty far back hair line at 19 and my hair grows like an inch every 3 months, its very annoying. Is there any kind of hair implants I can get that will provide me with long hair and a better hair line. I have contacted local hair replacement clinics but I have been turned down from all of them because I am not of age to be eligable for hair implants/replacements. Do any of you know about any kind of surgery/practices/implants that I can do to give me a natural female hair line as well as giving me longer hair. I am somewhat feminine at my office, I paint my nails and I sometime wear girl jeans(you know the ones that make your ass look great) I want to bring a purse, how weird would that be? Its just a cloth black and light pink plaid purse with black straps. All in all I would like to say I am pretty lucky with my situation but as will everyone going through this, I am having emotional stress, worries, wanting to just tell everyone about the great news that I know who I am but I know if I do I will most likely face criticism and hate. I know this reply is a little scatterbrained but please give me your opinions.
I spent all of my savings, after losing my job, on replacing my wardrobe, paying for as much laser and electrolysis as I could, and getting my namechange finalized. I am now out of work and broke, and I can no longer afford hair removal, therapist visits, or doctor visits until I find work. However, I am also over 7 months hrt and over 3 months full-time and LOOOOOOOOVING IT! Worth every dime. Big thing for me right now is figuring out how to pay for my nose and chin. Would like to have them done this summer. Regarding what to do with your money. If you have black or dark brown facial hair, start laser YESTERDAY! It will get rid of the shadow, even though you will still have to shave daily, most likely, for many years to come. After laser, if laser was necessary, begin electrolysis right away and develop a plan for keeping it up. Unfortunately, I only got 5 hours in before running out of money and will basically have to start all over again once I get work. Besides electro, use money to purchase HIGH QUALITY AND AGE-APPROPRIATE clothing. Keep in mind full outfits for all occasions, work, home, family get-togethers, going out for drinks, etc. I have spent over $1k on my wardrobe and it is far far far from complete. Start saving now whatever you can for emergencies and for any surgeries you plan on having. Do not look at your job as something permanent. Companies are notorious for firing transsexual employees, especially those who went full-time too soon or those who have waited too long to go full-time (androgyny is your enemy). Get on HRT A-S-A-P. Starting as young as you are will have enormous benefits that other women do not have. Regarding your hair growth. Get started on finasteride (generic propecia which can be prescribed by your general physician -- I take 2.5mg a day since the pills have to be prescribed as 5mg each so I cut them in half). Also start taking a heavy biotin supplement, I take 10000mcg a day, a 3month supply can be purchased from walmart for $10.
Well, about the facial hair, you need a removal procedure, because HRT doesn't do anything for it. I've read electrolisis it's the best option, but not a cheap one. Anyway, either that or laser, your choice. About the hair implant/procedure, well I didn't even know they had an age limitation. I have a similar problem like you (I started to loose hair since college) but I never considered implant hair because I simply don't have any money to do so. So I considered that, when I'm ready to come out of my house dressed (crossdressed) I'll need to use a wig, because there's no way my hair will grow back with any procedure at my pocket's reach. And I think it will be pretty weird if you use a purse, but you say you already paint your nails, so if they ok with that, it should be no problem the purse either.
