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LGBT News More than "It Gets Better"

Discussion in 'Current Events, World News, & LGBT News' started by wickedwitch, May 19, 2017.

  1. wickedwitch

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  2. HerRainbow

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    I think the research could apply to anybody really but I agree with it. Telling someone that things would get better is kinda dismissive. Having friends in the community means they can share experiences and feel less isolated.
     
  3. Kira

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    It makes sense.

    The more in common you have with others, the less you'll feel like an outcast. Easier to relate, easier to communicate. Though I find initiating conversations in general to be difficult it's certainly a step up.

    There's pretty much nobody similar down here, they all move away or hide. But I will too, and I have a feeling it'll be a significant change.
     
  4. Andrew99

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    This is a complicated topic for me. I sort of agree with this but then again I sort of don't.

    I remember back in 8th grade I use to watch those it gets better videos. They made me feel better for a while and I had high hopes for the future. However once I started high school things were such shit that I thought to myself what if it doesn't get better. From what I have learned is that life has ups and downs.

    On the topic of socializing with other lgbt+ kids. That's where I don't completely agree. I use to go to gay groups to meet with other people who were also lgbt my age. I honestly felt like I was the outsider the whole time. I couldn't relate to anyone and some of them got on my nerves. I feel a lot better just hanging around people who are accepting not necessarily lgbt+.
     
  5. Isaacsolomon

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    Yeah, I remember when It Gets Better started. I was 22, at university and out, but I found it so wonderful to see.

    I can relate to what Andrew99 said though, because I often felt (and, to tell you the truth, still do sometimes) like I didn't fit in with a lot of other gays and lgbt+s. It's not easy when you already feel like an outsider and an alien, to feel like that among the people who - supposedly also feel that way! I 'coped' as best as I could by ignoring people I disliked and concentrating on the ones I did. I don't find comfort from LGBT spaces now but I have built up a collection of gay friends in disperse places, and I very much value and treasure them. But they came into my life somewhat organically - and while LGBT+ venues are great, sometimes the environment feels a little exposing and self-consciousness inducing.
     
  6. Random Ross 1

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    I agree, but many LGBT spaces are narrow minded as well. They'll only accept people with a certain political opinion, if you're "queer enough" (whatever that's supposed to mean), if you agree with the same stuff and so on. Maybe it's just the queer spaces I've been in, I dunno. This site's pretty good, but many irl queer spaces I've been in have a social hierarchy and sometimes a "hazing process", where they try to make you say the wrong thing and then label you as a bigot. I think we need to create spaces where everyone is accepted regardless of whatever. I dunno, maybe it's just the places I've been in.
     
  7. Sienrar

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    "It gets better" is an oversimplification in most situations where it is way more complicated than that. While as a person transitions into adulthood there will certainly be more options to distance yourself from terrible people (I assume), most people will still be financially dependent on their parents or guardians for some time. And when that's cut off early because someone's LGBT, everything goes to crap. And some people live in small towns or regions that are so embedded in their anti-gay beliefs, where getting cut off from their parent's support could also mean ostracization from the entire community, and not finding anyone else to help them.

    For some people it does NOT get better.
     
    #7 Sienrar, May 23, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: May 23, 2017
  8. Sleeping Owl

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    Being a gay teenager kinda sucked. I wasn't "obviously gay" nor were there any "obviously gay" teenagers at my school. When that happens, there's basically no way to socialize with others unless you come out.

    I went to one lgbt meeting at my uni and basically got ignored. I didn't mesh with them I guess despite being outgoing. No one else was into sports or competitive gaming or other things I liked. I think they liked netflix/art stuff/activism things. Fine for them but I couldn't relate on a deep level. It's kind of reassuring to hear that some lgbt clubs can just be this way.
     
  9. Kasey

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    I think you just hit the nail on the head. Being gay or whatever only makes you share one demographic out of a myriad. From what you say that sounds like my experience with other people for many reasons. First you might have no commonalities otherwise? Second they are probably very cliqueish as a defense mechanism and you are just left out in the cold as not one of the inner circle.
     
  10. photoguy93

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    Having the support from the LGBT community I think would have dramatically changed me. My family loves me and my friends have always accepted me - but the gay community doesn't give one shit. My friends would always say "it'll get better! It's just the area or __ or ___" and it just pacified me. I love my friends, but I needed that acceptance and love from another gay individual. I never got that.

    So, I spent years looking for it and never found it. Looking back, if I had a group of gay friends when I was growing up, I think I would have been sooooo much better off. It is important to find it within yourself, but if no one else wants that....

    Our world is also changing. I think that 10 years ago, being gay meant something totally different than what it means today. When I came out, you could be friends with other gay men. You could connect and the "I'm too hot for you" attitude wasn't there. Now, it's totally changed. If you're not hot, you don't matter.

    So yes, I think that "It Gets Better" should be changed to "It sucks, it doesn't get better, but find some good friends who love you and maybe a martini and then you should be okay" :/