Hello everyone, Probably I am not the first to feel this way but I could use some advice concerning my orientation. I feel attracted to both guys and girls but it feels different with either. Girls, they do not 'turn me on' really in the physical although I find myself glancing at their feminine areas very often, most likely as often as I look at a guy. It's hard for me to say I am gay since that feels like totally giving up on the other sex, and saying I am bi does not feel right either. Since it's not that I get sexually aroused by girls, except for a rare occasion. I've only kissed girls, no guys, but I think that's because no one aside from you knows about my feelings. Thanks in advance
Well, for quite a while I used to wonder about the same thing. Can I say I'm gay if I never was with a guy? I only had one girlfriend so far and while I thought she looked good I didn't get aroused, not even when we kissed- that's part of why I broke up eventually. I also glance at girls as well as guys, but when I first kissed a guy- I don't know, but it just felt 'right'. And yeah, I got aroused for the first time kissing someone. But it didn't really work out so one night a few days ago when I had had a fair share of beer - and it really gets me loose and brave - I kissed a girl and I got aroused as well. Up to that point I would have said I was gay- but now... am I bi? Am I semi-bi? Am I almost completely gay? In the end... does it matter? I like to think of it as 'I only get turned on by certain people' - whether they be girls, guys, I don't really mind. As long as I like the person next to me I don't give a damn about saying whether I'm bi, gay, or what percentage of each. Just be yourself and go with the flow
Hey, welcome Poko. I can't really say what your orientation is. It sounds complicated, like most peoples'. I wouldn't jump to label yourself too denifately until you are more certain. I guess I would say that I'm exactly the same as you, but inversed, ie I have a pseudo-attraction thing going for some guys, and I don't really know what to call myself. It's frustrating, but all you can do is get on with life, try not to worry about it, and just let it sort itself out in its own good time. You may never fit perfectly into a narrow label, but that doesn't matter. In the end, you will sort things out. Good luck and please post more queries/thoughts/whatever you like if you want to (*hug*)
Thanks for the swift replies I'm rather sure I'll sort it out eventually, but I'd like to tell one or more friends about how I feel. That would be hard to explain to some I think, as they (probably?) haven't felt the same way like you.
I get confused myself with what my orientation is. Its a little hard to admit to one self a realization especially when your in denial. Most of the time I'd imagine myself being happier with a girl than a guy but when I think about how I'd get to actually come out to every especially my family I get a little afraid and I get confused again of what I am. I hope someday ill have enough courage.....
A lot of people on here, including myself, can kind of understand where you're coming from. It's a question of - well, I feel this sort of thing for this person, but then, also, I'm kind of aroused by that, so what does it mean? One thing that someone said to me when I was asking exactly the same question was that I've got the rest of my life to figure it out. And this is the same for you: you have the rest of your life to figure it out. And if you decide you're gay, but fall in love with a woman, don't deny those feelings because you've decided you're gay. At the moment it's perhaps good to think of yourself as "not straight" - that's what I do. As for talking to friends about it - one thing that's difficult about coming out before you have figured it all out for yourself is when they ask you whether it is a phase or ask you whether you're sure. However, this is more a case with parents, and I think that if you spoke to some of your closer friends who you trust, telling them exactly what you have told us, even if they haven't been in the same situation, they should understand the basics - that you're not straight, but the extent to which you're gay/bi you're not sure. - Just tell them what you have told us. Good luck!!
I went through the exact same thing so I know exactly what you're thinking. Its been said before, but I'm going to say it again: Just accept the fact that you're not straight for now and then figure things out as time goes on.
there is no need to lable yourself as anything.. give urself time to figure out what you want... i went through the same thing about a month ago, i wont lable myself as a lesbian, or bisexual.... i like girls, and, never really thought of guys in 'that' way, though i wont call myself a lesbian.. im not straight. i say dont tell all your friends untill you are sure yourself. you can't answer their questions untill you know the answers yourself.. maybe talk to a couple friends, but dont come out untill you are ready to.
