Im not feeling too happy. In a few weeks I'm gonna be 27. Almost 30. I feel like I've utterly wasted my 20s. I've never been to any parties, never had a gf or bf, and never had sex or been kissed. I feel like I'm just a piece of space junk hurling through the eternal void. I remember once I was at the local park to jog around. Then it hit me. I lost it. My beliefs, my sanity, I knew then that I was utterly alone in the universe. Just jogging about trying to lose weight. Nothing matters anymore. I'm just Sisyphus moving a rock up a hill, just to watch it go down again (Greek mythology reference). And I haven't been to the park sense. I've been more or less researching the nature of reality and such things. Doesn't really matter in the end. Hey aliens and Spirits exist! Maybe so, but it has nothing to do with me. So I can take it or leave it. It's just another form of entertainment to me really. I just feel so restless. I've lost 5 pounds in two days on a diet trying to get thin. I still have facial redness so. It's just chaos everywhere. Im thinking about dying my hair pink so my redness won't be so noticeable. But then I'll have pink hair! So I'm still stuck. So I get the old, "Oh it's what's inside that counts!" Maybe so. But if you're not physically attractive then it's over before it began. Online dating is the safest way because you can send a "hi" and they can either take or leave it. If you approach strangers in public it can not only get humiliating but dangerous as well. So I'm stuck there. I don't even know why I'm even talking about this. I'm sorry you all. You don't have respond to this. I feel like I'm just rambling. Now everyone knows I'm crazy now. Im sorry you all. I'm really pretty chill and easy going.
This sounds more like an existential crisis than a mid life one and is pretty common. It happened to me throughout my 20s and 30s (and 40s sadly) not that I want to depress you even more I know it can be tough to get through. Getting out and exercising is a good way to lift the mood, maybe join in some local groups of things you are interested in locally and possibly talk to your doctor if you get really depressed as meds may be the answer.
I really hope not What complicates things for me a bit is that I have cyclothymia and Aspergers so my brain processes things a bit differently and I tend to over think and over analyse things which can lead me into depression at times. I try to remember that we are probably only going to live once so it's best to try and have as much fun as possible, particularly if you are only 27. One of my ways of coping with this is by remaining about 18 in my heart and mind as that was the age when I was the most happy although I didn't realise it would be at the time.
