Hey... well a lot of you have already read a lot about my situation under "Met a guy.. now I'm confused." I just now have finally realized what I need to do in my life. Thank you all for any advice you have given me. The following e-mail is what I sent to the guy I met and changed my life forever. I needed to send something to him to explain what goes throught a "straight" man's head when he has just fallen for a guy. I hope you all read it, and please tell me what you think. Oh, and names, places, etc. are changed. "Yo dude.. whats up? Please take a minute or two to read this. I know it might be kinda long, but it is really important and explains a lot. I said somethin yesterday bout grabbing some food sometime.. im pretty fuckin busy, i'm not gunna lie.. but i want to see u if its possible... i could prolly make it work tonight if i hear from u but if not then i can definitely get some lunch tomorrow before i start drivin back... so around 1ish... just let me know dude.. my number is ________.. i dont have ur number so if i dont answer then leave your digits in the message... i really hope i get to see you before i leave, but if i dont then i understand and we had fun while whatever we had lasted.. i dont regret anything except maybe going a little psycho... but hey, can u blame me? haha i was goin thru a rough time for a few days when i was trying to figure out what the hell was going on in my life but i'm back to normal now.. i mean life throws shit at you when you are least expecting it and you just have to roll with the punches.. i hope you're having fun with your ATL friends and with workin at Lacoste... aka Andy Roddick's wardrobe.. haha... maybe when my buddies come down we can all do something.. i just got AWESOME fakes.. they cost me $250 for 2... so im not gunna be getting kicked out anymore (which happened to me a lot the past couple weeks... damn asshole bouncers) i hope you can look back on this experience as positively as I’m going to be able to... i've learned a lot about people from you and you have changed some of my moral and political views somewhat.. i never thought i could feel those sorts of "butterflies in the stomach" feelings for a dude before.. ever.. haha and it definitely opened up my eyes.. stereotypes are not always true.. i know you said that i was being "so extreme and emotional" .. i just want you to know that i might have been like that or sounded like that but i was just as freaked out as you were... I was going through something and experiencing something so new and scary… I felt like you were the only person i could to talk to about what i was feeling and you were the only person that could make the uncertainty and pain go away.. that's not fair of me to put all of that baggage on you.. you've already been through a lot of shit already yourself to be where you are today and its not your responsibility to take care of my shit too.. also.. we haven’t known each other for a very long time so that might seem really weird for u if someone u just met is spilling their emotions out… but trust me, it was fucking weird for me too.. im not usually like that its been fun.. we had a lot of fun.. so if u read this and then I never hear from you again I will always remember that… I really did like you.. and I honestly could have seen something happening between us in the future.. I know that’s probably freaking u out right now but trust me, its already freaked me the hell out.. I’ve just realized, its not worth worrying over.. whatever is meant to happen will happen.. I can’t control it.. I can’t make you like me and I can’t expect you to choose to get involved with someone that has/had emotional baggage… finally, I just want you to please keep quiet about whatever happened between me and you.. it is a lot harder on me if rumors start going around.. I need to figure this out on my own—with or without your help… I really could have seen myself bringing you to meet my family, my friends, my hometown and your favorite city-- _____ (an inside joke between us)! Haha.. I know you’re probably thinking –What the fuck.. this kid is fuckin psycho-.. and you know what? That’s what ive been thinking, too… Well.. I was thinking that until now.. I’ve realized that I have to tell you what was going through my head… I can’t be worried about what you’ll think or do. I got attached to you.. there’s no other way to explain it.. I didn’t want that to happen.. hell it NEVER happens.. im always the guarded one—I never trust anyone enough to become attached to them.. with you though, for however short of time we hung out.. I just felt good.. I mean like you said a couple weeks ago when we were at my place… when you have a connection with someone, you have a connection with someone and whether they are male or female doesn’t matter.. I really wish this would have “ended” differently.. I mean I really saw me and you talking in person and working something out.. I only hope that you wont read this e-mail and see me as “extreme and emotional”… its not even about that dude.. I’ve realized that its not worth it to be emotional.. I mean I’ve never been like that before and I never want to get like that again… but sometimes ya just cant control how ya feel! This is probably a lot to take in and digest.. and if you’ve made it this far in the e-mail then I guess thanks for taking time out to read it… lol you’re an amazing guy, but I think you already know that.. haha jp… seriously, I hope you respond… if you need time to think about what to say then just respond and tell me that you need a day or a few days or w/e to reply back.. I hope to hear from you, and let me know about either food tonight or lunch tomorrow!" And that's what I just wrote him. I guess all there is to do now is wait and see what he says. PS-- A lot of you are confused about the me going home situation. We both go to the same college, but are not from the same hometown. We live in the city our college is in. I am just going home for a week or two.
that is an excellent letter. it reads really well. you have said it all, and explained it. i hope he respects that you have put yourself out there! well done - it is his move now.
Well.. I am getting ready to take a final and then I am going home. I haven't heard back from him yet, but he might not have gotten on last night. We will see what happens. He probably won't even write back, but at least I got it all out. I am completely burdenless right now.
Which is good. You said what you had to and explained everything. So at least he knows. And he could just not have gotten online, like you said. In which case you'll just have to check back and see what's up later. I hope it all works out for you though. ^_^
Good note. I'm sure you feel better - and you've laid it out for him so that it's in his court. Now you can move on - take from the experience what you've learned, reflect on it, and prepare yourself for the next time. Good luck - with this, and with your exam!
you said it well. i cant see that there is anything more that you could do. if he doesnt respond - then i think he is missing out on something very special - the way u write shows intelligence, sincerity and a very caring emotion. i think that is very valuable and you have a lot to give. his loss. boost up your ego a bit - you have a lot to give someone, and it will be appreciated one day. u could send him flowers ? Maybe an old romantic meg ryan movie has some suggestions.
