I got some vouchers (and money) recently that can be used in a few stores. And I'm like "YAAS let me go buy some man clothes". Looking online I found some nice lookin guys jeans in River Island sale, but also in some menswear only shops that were on the voucher website... some half price suede desert boots at Burtons and this "Hula girl shirt" at Moss Bros. Anyway, I then realised these vouchers have to be spent in store. The only time I've gone into mens without a man was me sneaking into Topman behind a crowd of Chinese guys and girls the a couple weeks ago and just wandering around and not buying or trying anything. I feel like going into Moss Bros, which has no womens clothes, is even more suspicious though haha. And its just all the way on the other side of town like, I would have to walk for 20 minutes and then chicken out. Am planning to wear my manliest clothes and just hope people get it. (I might also have to call to ask if they have the stuff I want too, and if not to get it... ugh, why couldn't these be online vouchers????) It made me so fucking anxious the other day when I was in a perfume shop on holiday in Tenerife trying some guys perfumes as well as girls, and this shop assistant started following me to be like "No that's 'pour homme', chicos, its for boys -try this for girls". Ran out of that shop... Developed a way of sneakily spraying onto sample cards while practically just walking past after that. Suspicious as fuck. Anyway, I'm just feeling like I may just sit around here and never go if I don't have encouragement/advice/whatever, especially since I have to get a train and all (it has to be a proper decided trip, you know). I'm just rather fed up of my life long wardrobe of drab girl clothes that are bought simply for not being too girly and being cheap. All I like wearing is a couple shirts and this pair of mens jeans my mum accidentally bought me, and my leather jacket. I have like nothing to wear haha. I'm trying to grow up into some actual style. I've only managed to develop a sense of style by looking at the mens online. Anyway, I just thought I'd find someone who has experience of looking in mens (especially when not even trying to pass as male, but transguys, help me too). Also what if I wanna try something on? Especially in the men's only stores ugh. Rantmaster rant, out.
I haven't ever been in a men's only store, but I have shopped in men's sections quite a bit, both while passing (I think) and not passing so well. I was very nervous at first but no one has ever said anything and I actually got over my fear pretty quickly. My advice is just try and act confident, even if you don't really feel it. If you look like you're sneaking around that draws more attention. I'm sure they get women in there looking for clothes for husbands/boyfriends etc., and that's probably what most people will assume anyway, so it's not like your presence will be completely weird. And really, I would think that you'd have a better experience in a men's store, as you obviously went in there on purpose so you shouldn't have to worry about something like the perfume shop episode with people thinking you're "mistaken" and trying to help. The biggest issue would probably be the dressing rooms, which hopefully someone else can help with since I don't know anything about dressing rooms in those types of stores. But you could always just buy the clothes, try them at home, and return them if they don't fit. Good luck!
Okay I can help you from both sides of the fence. As a transguy who used to not pass at all, shopping in men's, especially alone, is intensely anxiety inducing. You need to focus on the awesome clothes you're going to get and get through this very short period of stress to look forward o wearing the clothes for the next couple of years. That's the aim. It's definitely worth it. In a couple weeks you'll have forgotten all about the experience. On the other side, I work in retail and you never, ever remember the customers. I've seen women in men's looking around, I've seen butch women looking in womens, men looking at womens shoes. Staff honestly won't cafe and neither is will anyone else. All they're there too do is pick the clothes off the floor and help people with any queries. There's too much else to worry about than to take note of every person and what they're buying. About changing rooms, that's a tricky one. I usually buy everything and take it home, try it on and return it if I don't like it. I've changed in men's changing rooms but I somewhat pass and I don't know what it'd be like for someone that isn't trying to pass to attempt to go in men's. Check what he vouchers return policy for clothes is. If they don't fit then ask someone that works there if you'd be able to exchange it if you end up not liking it.
I used to lie, said I was bad with sizes and that the clothes was for my brother who has the same build I have but now I don't care at all. I just go in men's changing room and try on whatever I want (and I don't pass most of the time to be honest) and guess what - no one cares here.
ugh wrote reply and lost it. ThatOneAlien, yes at least they won't think I'm mistaken. I have planned to fall ack on pretending to be shopping for a guy if my confidence fails me, but I'm think I'll probably end up trying on shirts over a clingy t-shirt on the shop floor or something which would give it away haha. I cannot claim to have the same build as a guy like you, paris, because I have too much boobage to have a similar build to any guy haha. And Aberrance, yeah you're probably right they probably don't care at all but I can barely deal with them approaching me under normal circumstances! Hopefully I can deal. ---------- Post added 24th Jul 2016 at 10:01 PM ---------- It would be nice to have someone to go with but my candidates: 1. My gay boy best friend of 5 years, who I'm sort of just reconciling with after falling out. Known to say such things as: -"please don't be too butch" -[If I cut my hair short]"you'll look like an annoying feminist dyke" 2. Bisexual girl friend who is known to buy guys shirts, tells me I would rock the manly hair, straightens my ties, generally can be pretty adorable. However, we have some tension because I had a crush on her girlfriend (and she's bloody insecure like I was gonna somehow steal her)... and thus I do not want to proper start any conversation with her that may involve my queerness in case I end up confirming her suspicions. Plus I just dont want to make a big deal out of it since we're fairly new friends. 3. My mother, known to say "are you planning to become one of those manly women who go round lookin for other women?" ---------- Post added 24th Jul 2016 at 10:03 PM ---------- btw thanks, dudes. That did help somewhat.
UPDATE. Went today. Was suprisingly super not stressful. Did not find the hula girl shirt shop (Moss Bros) on the other side of town. Just bought some khakis from Topman, skinny black jeans and brown desert boots from River Island. I have made the ridiculous mistake of knowingly buying too short black jeans haha. My excuse is that they are just for wearing with boots so I can show them off... is that strange? I think it looks fine it just seems like a dumb thing to do. Cuffing is probably a more versatile strategy. Thank you for the advice. I just sort of walked in there confidently as you said (instead of hiding behind crowds of Chinese kids as mentioned above lol). Since I never found Moss Bros and didn't find anything I wanted on sale in other menswear shops I just ran down to womens for fitting... but tbh Topman men's changing rooms seemed completely unthreatening, with proper doors not cutains, and the area was open to the shop floor, so its not like I would have to go into the mens changing area guarded by some shop assistants. Almost used it. I went into a cool mod themed mens only store which I've always wanted to go into and no-one gave a fuck - it's bloody expensive though, but just so interesting. It was a good trip because I feel freed up to just walk into places.
Funny thing, if you're confident enough, nobody questions or sees anything strange. Cool to hear it went well
