Meet other closet gays?

I know exactly what you mean.

You're definitely in the right place!

And what's not to be proud of?
Straight people don't have to come out...
we're special we are.

 

That's what we're all here for!!! And that's what we all got (or at least I did) from this web site. A sense of 'normalcy' with being gay. When you're subjected to homophobic comments your whole life, you're naturally going to have a very negative attitude towards it yourself, depsite being gay. So just take some time to 'unprogram' yourself by hanging out here.

What I did was post an online classified ad saying what it was I was looking for - someone to be friends with that could relate to my situation. As a result of that ad, I was directed to the Gay Fathers of Toronto support group. (Who knew?!?) I also met a nice guy who continues to be a great 'gay' friend almost 2 years later.

So don't make any decisions right now about anything. But increase your self awareness and get more comfortable in your own skin. Good luck. And welcome!

 

I wouldn't start going out with guys because of the first feeling of affections since you don't know if your just curious, but then again i guess that is why they call it experimentation, but yah i mean wait till your more sure about it and accept yourself =]

 

Oh, I totally understand where you're coming from. I've never been there, but I can empathize. I can understand wanting someone around to confide with, to get affectionate with. But DL relationships can be difficult to maintain. Relationships are a difficult enough juggling act, and when you toss in the "no one must know" ball, well... And your friends might start wondering. Not just about "that guy", but why you don't ever seem interested in women much or at all. Which is why you might feel the need to leer when you don't feel like leering, making comments you don't really feel like making...maybe even dating when you don't feel like dating.

And that's another problem. Friends. Ideally, friends like us for US. They don't like some idealized form of us. They know we have foibles and quirks and negative parts, but they stick by us anyway. And, ideally, that includes sexuality. Ideally, your friends would like you despite your sexuality. Because that's what friends do. I realize that where you are, that might not be the case - the pressure might be too strong on them to conform for them to stick by you. And that sucks rocks.

But you're right. Life's hard enough without having your sexuality being an issue. And that's why I tossed off that bit of advice about moving (if a bit flippantly). I do think it'd be a worthwhile, longterm goal. Because for us in non-homophobic areas, our sexuality ISN'T an issue. I'm gay. My friends know, my co-workers know, my neighbors know. And it really is a non-issue. It's no big deal. And that's ideal for everybody.

Lex

 

He's probably more worried about acquaintances than 'friends'. but with being out to friends, comes being out with acquaintances.



I'm not out. That 'other guy' is conveniently my housemate

 

Since you are in your twenties why don't you move to a more accepting place and hit up the gay bars?

 

PM me so we can talk more about this....

 

This thread is from 2009 so chances are the person in question has already moved on

 

hi im 22 and in similar situation want to chat?

 

yes, I am closeted and weird enough, I thought I was the only one who uses girls as a self-esteem booster. Now I don't feel too bad. I do still feel ashamed though.

Being closeted is hard on the mental state, for me at least.

yes, meeting another closeted man would be the best choice because then you can both plan to come out together. It helps with the confidence aspect. Too bad I haven't met anyone I can come out to my family with.

---------- Post added 19th May 2013 at 09:10 AM ----------

with a non-closeted man, he might be a little impatient and rush you to come out to friends and family when you aren't even ready yet.