Sometimes I find myself feeling that I should be feminine given that I am gay. Most the gay guys on TV seem to be feminine. Fem gays seem so happy and confident. I sometimes feel like that's where you suppose to get to as a gay. I know now that this is not how Fem gays see it and from what I heard Fem gays sometimes feel the opposite pressure for perhaps more obvious reasons. But I rarely hear Masc gay angst being discussed and I was curious whether anyone else here has felt like this before?
I'm not full fem, but not even close to masc. I'm just quite neutral. quiet. flamboyant when I'm feeling silly with my best friends only. I'm happy and wouldn't change who I am, but at the same time I understand the gay community really love masc. guys so it does pressure me a bit. but there's no default settings. you are you and will grow to like yourself. be comfortable in your skin, it might take agessss but first, lets stay clear of what the media has to say ok? just cos I'm liberal does not mean I have to agree with what those Tumblr warriors got to say. nor should I wear makeup after watching jefrey stars. diversity is good...oh especially when your a masc gay in the gay community lol
Honestly, the only thing that bums me out is that everyone thinks I'm straight, which makes it harder to date (nothing compared to the trans issue, tho...)
I think the place you're supposed to get is where you really are just being you without fear. I know a lot of gay guys. And yeah, a lot of them are very "happy and confident" but I wouldn't say that they are feminine. Actually the vast majority of them are at least as masculine as their straight peers. What I would say is that more often than not the happy and confident ones are not afraid to occasionally appear feminine. I think in the parlance of the moment you would say that their masculinity is less fragile than that of their straight peers
In my observation, that "seem so happy and confident" appearance that you mention is usually a show. A mask used to protect themselves and, possibly, to push themselves to stay optimistic. Hidden beneath is a deep seated longing for acceptance and vulnerability.
