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"Ma'am"

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by 00Shockwave00, Jan 7, 2017.

  1. 00Shockwave00

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    North Alabama
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I have recently accepted the fact I'm gender fluid. I mostly waiver from female to neither or both, but I face an issue of being called ma'am in public no matter how I dress or what I feel like ( I was blessed in the chest department). This is an uncomfortable situation for me because I don't want to be addressed as ma'am. I don't feel like a woman. Even when I'm dressed in like a shirt and tie I still get addressed as ma'am or miss. I really don't want to say anything about it to them and make the situation worse or embarrass myself.

    I'm sure some others have this problem. What do you do about it? .....

    Also any suggestions on covering up breasts when not feeling female? I really don't want to permanently change anything because when I am feeling female I am very proud of them:icon_redf , but I can't stand strangers addressing me as ma'am. They don't know me. :tantrum:
     
  2. ShinyIncineroar

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    I don't have too much experience with this, but I understand that it is difficult mentally and emotionally to be misgendered so many times in one day, at any given time. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Maybe trying to pass off as more masculine might help you. Though keep in mind that there will be times where it will happen no matter what you do, and I know that can be rough. Take as many little victories as you can. The campus community I'm part of has a ton of gender buttons that are provided for students to wear and I know that that has helped them and their feelings of security. Maybe that is something you can look into?

    How do you feel about binders? A good binder can be the difference between being misgendered and being able to pass as more masculine, or neutral.
     
  3. darkcomesoon

    Full Member

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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    The two things that have helped me most are getting a men's haircut and men's clothes. Men's haircuts are different than short haircuts for women. I go to a barber, and they cut my hair like they would cut any other guy's hair. Getting a haircut that is distinctly male, rather than just masculine, can help people not mistake you for a masculine woman. They may end up seeing you as male, or you might end up looking androgynous so that you'll get a mix of "ma'am" and "sir" from different people.

    Getting men's clothing also helps. Much like with the haircuts, there's a big difference between men's clothing and masculine women's clothing. It tends to fit in a way that hides curves, whereas women's clothing is built to accommodate and accentuate curves. However, if men's clothing doesn't fit you, you're better off in masculine women's clothing. Shirts that are too tight in the chest or pants that are too tight in the hips end up making curves more noticeable.