My wife came out to me a little over a month ago. We're on good terms and we'll be moving into a larger apartment soon so we'll have our own bedrooms. We are looking to get divorced but no rush. My question is about talking to our kids. They're 6 and 7 right now. My wife currently spends about half her time with her gf and her family and it's getting hard coming up with excuses why she's not around. I think we're leaning towards coming out to the kids sooner than later so they'll have a better context of what's going on. Does anyone have experience with this type of thing? I think my kids would take it fine. They've been raised with an open mind. What I'm worried about is them telling other people before my wife and I are ready to be public about everything. Thanks for the read
I haven't been in your situation exactly (I'm gay and my wife is straight), but to your specific question, I would suggest that you not tell anything to the kids and have any expectation that they will keep the secret. It's rather unfair to ask them to join you in the closet anyway, and not something you really want to teach them, right? In my experience, 6 and 7 year olds are totally unable to keep a secret. They will tell their teachers at the first opportunity! Tell them when you're ready to completely come out.
Yah I figured that about school. I don't think I'm too concerned with school, my wife would probably try to avoid it, but I think she's about ready to come out locally. ish.. What I'm really worried about is family, we live very very far from any family so we don't see them often but we talk via phone, facetime, skype, etc pretty regularly. We are both just not ready to deal with family. So we'll probably need to wait until we're ready for family to know.
