1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Living with a partner who doesn’t respect you

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by LostInDaydreams, Nov 12, 2018.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I find my partner hard work to live with and wondered if anyone who has been in a similar situation could offer any coping strategies?

    Leaving isn’t an option at the moment, but I am finding living the the constant tension difficult. It’s draining. He makes no effort to hide that he finds me embarrassing and not good enough. He’s under a fair bit of stress at the moment, so his mood is up and down, making his reactions to things unpredictable. I feel like I’m waking on egg shells all the time.

    There’s no point in talking to him, so that’s not an option. He’s very fixed in opinions and will usually make out that my reaction is at fault, or he’ll just deny that it ever happened, or it’ll be my fault that he’s in a bad mood.
     
    #1 LostInDaydreams, Nov 12, 2018
  2. Chewbaca

    Chewbaca
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2016
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Houston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Could you maybe move in with family while you sort things out? I grew up in a toxic family, but once I moved to go to college, it was literally a breath of fresh air. No more weight on my shoulders and I could finally be me and embrace who I was. I found friends who accepted me. Haven't looked back since.
    Going to a toxic work place or school is one thing, but going to a toxic home( a place that's supposed to feel safe and secure and full of understanding) can do the most damage to your mental health. Put yourself first because at the end of the day, you're the one who has to deal with the consequences(whether good or bad) of your actions.
     
    #2 Chewbaca, Nov 14, 2018
    LostInDaydreams and RainbowGreen like this.
  3. weary

    weary
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    352
    Likes Received:
    270
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I agree with Chewbaca. For your own sanity you may need to find somewhere to go, or could he leave? Things can escalate quickly in a heated environment. Emotional turmoil can actually feel worse and having a longer lasting impression.
     
    #3 weary, Nov 14, 2018
    LostInDaydreams likes this.
  4. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you both. I agree, but it’s not really an option at the moment. Our home belongs to him, so it needs to be me that goes.

    Fortunately he’s out of the house a lot at the moment, but there’s a noticable difference when he’s at home.
     
    #4 LostInDaydreams, Nov 16, 2018
  5. Chewbaca

    Chewbaca
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2016
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Houston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So you leaving him to live with a friend or relative isn’t an option?
     
    #5 Chewbaca, Nov 18, 2018
  6. LostInDaydreams

    LostInDaydreams
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    No, I haven’t got any friends that I’m particularly close to. And all family live too far away for my daughter and I to travel to her
    school each day. I’m not leaving her with him and he wouldn’t be able to manage the chindcare around his other commitments anyway.
     
    #6 LostInDaydreams, Nov 18, 2018
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)