LGBTQ-related New Years resolutions?

my resolution is to hookup with a woman. hah

and u know what? I always achieve my resolutions!

Fingers crossed!

 

Be more open about my sexuality

Come out to the rest of the people I want to tell

Make more queer friends

Finish watching the L Word...haha

 

They have been accepting, but it's not something that has been openly discussed. My oldest brother is also gay and came out before I did. It was a rough time with the family. Then I came out, and it's been better but my family is rather religious. I don't know if my younger brother and sister in law know. I don't hide it,but I don't openly talk about it around everyone either. Being the only girl in the family, I'm sure my parents will be a little upset about me not having a wedding. I was engaged to a guy previously, and what little bit of wedding planning was ridiculous with family drama and what not. Just feel like a disappointment with not wanting the big wedding and such...

 

Being in Queer spaces tends to make me anxious. I'm going to try to overcome my fears and join a LGBTQ+ club. It's funny that the one place I'd be safe to be myself is where I feel most nervous. I guess I just feel exposed. I'm so used to hanging around conservative Christian girls who I guess must just assume I'm straight. There's this false feeling of safety that comes with being around people that don't know the truth about you.

 

a resolution is a goal, but as a new year approaches we may not have realistic goals or they are too broad in scope

a goal needs to be measurable, realistic, and relevant to ones life

and not too complicated. A resolution could be the direction you are going in for the years with goals written towards that direction.

 

I 'm 53 so this is huge for me: I plan to revisit my therapist (after 3 years) and come out to her. Then work on accepting the feelings I keep for my quietest, most private moments and not keep shoving them under the 'carpet.' I also plan to go to my first LGBTQ meeting--something I backed off from a year ago.

 

Best of luck to everyone with their goals! I'd like to finish my studies and start making money in my new chosen field, at least as a step towards financial independence so that I can divorce my husband because I am tired of this life. Continue to open up socially, expand my social circle, join in meetups whether they are LGBT or not, continue to talk to women on dating sites - all as gathering of experience and hopefully growing in confidence and resilience.

 

Loneliness is my friend, so I know how you feel. I know dating the wrong people can be devastating in that it makes us lose hope. I know it's easier said than done, but please don't let yourself lose hope. Amazing things do indeed happen all the time, and I know you will meet someone awesome. You'll see. In the meantime, live life, do things you love, get happiness from everything you like in life, and forget the rest....then when you're not looking and least of all expecting, I'm willing to be love will find you.
Sending you positive energy from North America (hoping it will flow South, lol).
Hugs. ♥

 

There's nothing wrong with generic and/or theoretical. They're beautiful goals because they're relevant to you. ♥

 

One of the first things I did earlier this year was visit a therapist for the first time in my life, and come out to her. She helped me so much because I didn't think there was such a thing as realizing one's sexual orientation later in life (yes, I was totally ignorant on the subject). Good for you for planning that! It's a good goal! I also will be planning my first LGBTQ meeting soon. Yay!

 

It's amazing how many of us have similar goals. I also have embarked on a new career and I'm in college again to make that dream a reality, so I also have the goal of finishing my studies (though mine will take more than a year). Continuing to open up and expand my social circle is also paramount for me right now, but for me it's mainly to expand my LGBTQ community.
Oh, the dating sites...I haven't had the urge to do that yet. I know it's the way people meet these days but I'm still not into it. I might do it someday...probably kicking and screaming, lol.

 

I like your attitude! ♥

 

Don't feel bad for not giving your family a wedding. I know how you feel. I've never been married but was engaged many years ago, and decided not to go through with it. I'm sure my mother was disappointed, though she never mentioned it. Your life is about your own happiness. I'm sure if your family sees you happy, they'll be happy too. ♥

 

This makes me feel better already. Thank you! (Just a day here and I feel I belong--luke finding a home after being on the road for almost forever!)

 

Rana, I think you're not missing much with the dating sites. Face to face seems so much better. But I've kept my profile on there and if someone interesting sends a message I'll chat. The last woman vanished after I mentioned being still married. Despite both of us wanting 'nothing serious'. It's useful to me for the experience of the different interactions. I'm not really looking for a partner (still married to one person and hopelessly in love with another so nothing to offer) but I'd love to just generally meet people.

 

new years resolution. to move forward. I have been stagnant in my efforts to move forward and by forward I mean an effort to get out of the closet more. I would like to come out to more people. there is a local gay and married men association(GAMMA). I would like to go to their meetings. and although my wife knows it is something we don't talk about anymore. We need to have a talk again so I can have some time to do these things. Thoughts pertaining to my sexuality are the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. resolutions are great because small gains can add up to big change .

 

Personally I don't set resolutions and instead use the New Year as an opportunity to review my written goals and update them for the new calendar year. SMART is useful for tactical goals or corporate objectives. I also use WOW goals (google Michael Neill) that are big and scary and outside one's comfort zone and would make one feel amazing about their life if achieved. These goals don't meet the SMART criterion. The key is to dream big and then create a plan to achieve your WOW goal through a series of smaller goals.

 

I think that going to the GAMMA meetings (and posting on EC) would be great ways to help you get support to move forward. When is the next meeting?

It would be helpful to hear more about your situation. I know that you are in a mixed-orientation marriage and out to your wife. Do you have plans to stay together or separate? Open marriage? etc.

 

We have tried the open marriage thing several years ago it didn't work out . (difficult to explain fully) on my end I was going out to gay bars. but I had no real support group . No one to talk with as I tried to explore my feelings. I am trying to build a support group now . hopefully though Gamma and here on EC I will be able to work through the uncomfortable phases I am sure to encounter. I also have a friend who was married and has since come out and remarried a man . He and his wife were friends with me and my wife before either of us came out to our wives. He is a source of both inspiration and melancholy as his relationship with his wife deteriorated to animosity. I would like to believe that it can work out as an open marriage. The next Gamma meeting is Jan 10 I plan on attending .