Lesbians with children..?

I don't have any kids, but my sister and her wife have often talked about raising a family together. SIL has mentioned using a sperm donor, says that while she would rather my sis carry the baby, she would be willing to be its biological mother if it came down to it. My sister's talked about adoption, too.

It can be hard to let go of the notion of husband + wife = baby, the "perfect" family picture. But I always ask myself, would I rather have that kinda family and not be true to myself? Or would I rather raise a child with someone I'm madly in love with, who I'm proud to call one-half of my parenting team?

There are all kinds of options out there for LGBT couples, so try not to stress about the specifics. When you're ready to have a family, things will work themselves out.

 

Five years ago I was in a sort of volunteer exchange program where participants live in a community for 3 months. 2 weeks of which are spent at a home stay with a local family. When I was in southern Ontario I was put with a lesbian couple with 2 boys (2 and 6) for my home stay. They were very well adjusted and were just like any kids.

As far as I could tell, they didn't have any problems in the community. They never said anything about the subject but I did not notice any discrimination withing the community. The 6 year old had gone to the daycare where I was volunteering and the daycare had nothing but good things to say about their family.

They used a sperm donor and the biological mother was the same for both children (the partner legally adopted the children) I can't remember whether or not the sperm donor was part of the children's lives but I feel like he was either an acquaintance with little to no involvement or an anonymous donor.

They had support and a strong relationship with their extended family as most families do but still there was not a prominent male role model in the children's lives which they did mention they would like (mostly because both children were boys); the babysitter was a woman and the 6 year old's teacher was as well and same with most of their family.

I know tv is good at depicting stereotypes and not always reality but I would relate their family to that of Cameron and Mitchell from Modern Family; they may have difficulties that a straight couple doesn't but it's nothing insurmountable.

 

I'm a lesbian and I have 2 little girls.

I tried to come out to my family but no one improved. It was when I was really young and they basically threatened to kick me out and told me I was dirt. So my whole life I tried to force myself to be straight. I got married young and had 2 kids with him. My life is so different and happy now. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, you can still have kids by many different ways!! Once you are in a healthy, happy relationship, THEN get ready for kids and talk about how you want to make it happen I hope you find happiness dear, because you deserve it!

 

You've pretty much described my current hangups. However, I was a lot younger when I started having kids. I was with my first girlfriend when I was 18 and while we discussed living together and having a family, I freaked out. I started dating a guy who is now, the father of my 2 kids. I have 3 boys; my oldest from a previous relationship. My feelings for women actually became stronger after I had my first son, so I had hope it was a phase. I thought it was just my crazy hormones, but I was so wrong. So, I dated my kids father on and off for years until I couldn't take it anymore. I was flat out miserable, so now, I'm with a girl. However, since I have 3 boys, I would love to have a little girl in the near future. And this has been my biggest barrier.

I know that if I make the decision to get pregnant again, it will not be the traditional way and that's okay. The girl I'm seeing has only met my youngest son, who's 5 years old and she fell in love with him. However, this is all so new to me, so I'm very hesitant. That's my story, I'm sorry if I rambled a bit too much, but I'm glad that you posted this thread because I feel the same way. I know you may be thinking "Oh, my gosh! Three boys should be enough", but I truly love kids. I come from a huge family and holidays were always the best times. I'm the youngest of several siblings and I have a ton of nieces/nephews.

Whatever you do, do not deny how you feel because I did it. And it made my life a lot harder than it had to be. I'll give you an example. There is this girl who I used to date/ex-friend also has kids and she is pregnant again by her kids father. So, I guess she's settling. I thought she was gay, but I think she's being pressured into being with him. I feel so sorry for her because she must be going through hell living a lie.

I'm not sure if you've ever watched this show called The Real L Word, but it's pretty good even though it is a reality TV show. It really opened my eyes to the possibility of having the perfect life with kids and the house with the white picket fence