Lesbian Visibility

I think the question is, does it matter? I'm gay and I'd rather not be made a spectacle of. Don't get me started on this whole LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ shit - I'm not a letter, I'm a human being...that happens to be gay. These organisations are giving straight people the impression that we're all over-the-top, in your face, we're gay and you're gonna know it!...but that shouldn't be the case. Most of my straight friends say, they don't have a problem with gays, lesbians etc. but when people make it their whole being, their WHOLE identity, it's annoying - and I agree.

I could have a rant about rainbows and flags, but I'll save that for another day...

 

I think gay guys are lucky they have so many good "examples" in the media i'm a bit jealous.Anderson Cooper,Matt Bomer,Ricky Martin,Neil Patrick Harris.If they only had Elton John like we only have Ellen Degeneres they would know how lesbians feel lol.We kinda have to settle for bisexual women that are married or in relationships with men.

 

Oh man, it's SO not just you. And not only that, do you ever get the feeling that the general public acceptance of lesbians is either "wow hot porn yes" or "aww cute mushy girly lesbian bed death aww fluffy babies"? I don't know how else to describe it, but just kind of this general "you can't have a REGULAR relationship god forbid wow no go sit down playtime's over". I feel like nobody takes us seriously sometimes, possibly because our patriarchal society seems to dictate that we absolutely need a man in the relationship and we're all hormonal sacks of rage and unadulterated affection. This mindset is so insidious that even if we as individuals try to think about women differently it can be really, really hard to do sometimes.
Heh, sorry if that sounds a tad militant, I'm reading a book on feminism written in like the 60s don't mind me

 

Rachel Maddow? Though to be fair, she is kind of a partisan hack.

 

Oooh, and you know what's also aggravating? When you go to a gay bar and the few women you do meet there are straight! Hey ladies, mind if I join your bachelorette party?

Anywho I hear ya. I was a little taken back when I discovered that Seattle, as gay friendly as it is, caters to gay/bi men WAAAAY more than to gay/bi women. This is purely speculation, but it almost makes sense. In general, men earn higher incomes, drink more alcohol, and go out cruising more often then women do. Follow the money! Also, people tend to connect with and support their own kind, no matter what subculture/minority you are talking about. I mean, I don't hate gay men at all, but if I'm in a queer space the men tend to disappear from my radar, lol! Keep in mind this is only from my limited experience in queer bars/clubs, and not with support groups outside of EC.

Then there's the whole objectification issue, and women's sexuality not being taken as seriously. I'm more thankful then upset really, but it does get old when my friends keep asking me to date men despite being "totally accepting" of my orientation. I highly doubt they'd say the same thing to a gay/bi guy. Can anyone verify/dispute that last statement?

 

Chimera, I don't think you're really being fair. You're basically calling us immorally promiscuous.

 

I'm sorry! I didn't mean for this to come off as offensive. My observations are only from the clubbing/bar scene (straight and gay), which I understand is a VERY limited insight. I also don't connect drinking/cruising with immorality, but I understand some people do so I will keep that in mind.

 

Why do you friends ask you to date guys? sounds really annoying. Hmm are you feminine? It seems like the feminine lesbians are not taken as seriously as masculine lesbians, maybe they forget you're gay sometimes.

 

I tend to lean on the masculine side of things actually, so it's not that. I'm going to make a quick guess and say it could be because I'm still semi-questioning, and according to them, "It's totally ok if you are gay/bi/whatever, but you have never given guys a chance!" Oy, this has been frustrating me lately, maybe I will start a new thread before this gets too sidetracked.

Or next time we hang out, I can start going, "OMG check HER out, isn't SHE hot! I would totally love some hot LESBIAN action with HER!!" Clear enough? :lol:

 

That was definitely not my intention and I apologize for how it came off. What I meant is not that you're hogging promotion for yourselves, more that the media is currently more focused on people who are gay at the moment.

I'm really sorry for how my comment came off.

 

OMG!!
SO TRUE...
Like half a year after I told one of my best friends, she comes and tells me that she and her sister (I have a good friendship with both of them) have been discussing my "situation" and that they wanted to hook me up with some dude.
I was S.H.O.C.K.E.D.
I thought they understood. This is not something I can turn off... I mean... WTF?!!
Finally, these past two weeks when she insisted that we must go and meet Aussies (she's obsessed with Australian guys, what can I say?), she said: "Ok, Ok... For you an Aussie girl". FINALLY!

I think the fact that there's only TV space for lipstick lesbians/bi woman shows that we are still quite objectified. Don't get me wrong... Emily Fields, Santana López, Dr. 13 Hadley, Callie Torres... My goodness... EYE CANDY. SO HAWT!! I'm not complaining here...
BUT I do believe there should be more space for tomboy lesbians and butch lesbians.
As a tomboy myself I feel underrepresented.

[YOUTUBE]15 Things I HATE About GAY People - YouTube[/YOUTUBE]
I believe she's right.